▶ Your Answer : Some people think that moving to a new places is not a good idea because of the possibility of losing their friends. However, I disagree with them for the reasons that moving does not always mean the loss of companions and gives people to build a network with others from various cultures. To begin with, moving does not account for not having losing a relationship with old friends. That is, even though you move one moves to an another city, you one can keep in touch with your old friends and although you live close with them, you can be negligent with each other. For example, there was a poll conducted by Doruk, the director of Gallup organization, with 200 university students as respondents. The purpose of the survey was to demonstrate the counsensus consensus view about the importance of the years they had spent with their friends. The majority of them responded that when it comes to friendship, the length of year actually does not matter. An overwhelming 60% had claimed that their current best friends are one of them they first met at university. those who met during attending university. This is because that their old friends such as the ones in elementary school do not have the same interests now and there are even more themes to talk about with their new friends. This proves that because people can meet their life partners even in new atmosphere, losing old friends by moving does not always mean unjustifiable. On top of that, people can meet a variety of people by moving place to place. If I have lived live in one place for about 30 years, most of the friends around me have almost the same growing background. In constrast contrast, there is a chance of communicating with people from different cultures provided that I move to another city when I move to other city. For instance, I had to move because of my father's job, soldier. Because he must move about once two years, there was no choice but to move with all of my family members. At first, my parents worries worried that I would be isolated and could not adapt with new friends. However, unlike their concerns, I was very excited to meet them and could talk about previous places I had lived since then. As a result, I have a diverse friends all around the cities and I think that it was the best experience I had because it expanded my point of view. Moving to new spaces is invaluable to the extent that some people even could not imagine. To sum up, moving does not indicate that one might lose their old friends and gives an opportunity of experiencing other cultures. In this regard, I strongly believe that it is a good idea to move to a novel cities even if there is a slim chance of having their friends lost. Fair: 17~23 점수: 23 일단 전체적으로 에세이를 논리적으로 풀어나갔습니다. 이러한 부분은 각 바디에서 설명에서 예시로 연결되는 부분에서 잘 드러나있습니다. 꼼꼼히 플로우를 확인하면서 에세이를 서술하셨기 때문에 이러한 에세이의 질이 나오는 것 같습니다. 하지만 아쉬운 점은 문법적 오류들입니다. 제가 에세이에서 참석한 것을 보시고 참고하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |