▶ Your Answer :
There might be some people who believe that
they prefer to buy meal in restaurants frequently rather than to cook meal at
home. However, I personally disagree with the idea for the following two
subsequent reasons. The concepts of the internet and my economical substance
clearly illustrate the theme.
To begin with, people nowadays can get a
wealthy a plethora of information through the internet that is readily accessible whenever
or wherever they want. What this means is that they can make whatever they
would like to eat by searching various recipes. Moreover, the young generation
are accustomed to find information they need by surfing the web. Therefore,
people can cook their meal when it comes to their preferences by utilizing the
recipes. There was a recent survey which was done by Harvard University
researchers with more than 500 people as respondents. The purpose of the survey
was to see how many people employed utilized online recipe well. According to the
survey, of 500 people surveyed, over 80 percent said that they were satisfied
with the recipe when they had learned the recipe through the internet. The
result of the survey distinctly proves my assertion.
On top of that, it is more economical when
they cook their meal at home frequently. In modern society people can find
great ingredients at a supermarket at a low price because of the development of
various types of industry (various types of industry가 어떠한 industry를 지정해서 말하는 것인지 명시해줘야 할 거 같아요). Therefore, they can save a lot of budget by doing
that and it can lead to financial stability. I will bring up my personal story
as an example. I almost do not eat out because I am a student and I have to use
my capital for my tuition. If I were waste of waste my money to go out frequently, I would always be short on cast later. lack my monthly budget
As I mentioned above, the internet as well
as my economical budget is in direct position to my viewpoint. I am strongly
under the impression that it is better for me to cook my meal at home
frequently than to buy my meal in restaurants frequently. Good: ;24~30 점수:25 몇몇 문제점들 이외에는 아주 논리적으로 서술하신 거 같습니다. 특히 설명에서 예시로 넘어가는 것이 아주 좋게 서술되어 있는 거 같습니다. 또한 각 바디에서 나타난 예시들이 앞 구체적인 설명을 아주 좋게 꾸며주는 거 같앙요. 하지만 문제점들이 있습니다. 가장 특징적인 문제점은 문법적 오류입니다. 위에 제가 참석한 것 처럼 동사 형태에서 틀린 부분이 있었고 불필요한 문장들이 있었습니다. 이러한 부분들을 꼭 고쳐주시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |