▶ Your Answer : Some people think that it is better to have friends who are similar to us than those who are different from us. However, in my opinion, having friends who are different from us can give a lot of advantages to us. There are several reasons and examples as follows. To begin with, playing with friends who are different from us can give me more fun than meeting with people who experienced same thing with me can do similar environment. This is because, I can indirectly enjoy their experiences. For example, because I was too shy and timid, I have never been to foreign before was never been to foreign country before. On the other hand, my friend who is was brave enough has had a lot of trip like Tibet, India and Europe. Also, she has hadmany friends from many countries. When I had a talk with her, I could listen her splendid stories during the trips and this was very exciting also gave me a brave to travel myself which gave me the chance to visit other countries. Additionally, meeting with her other foreign friends, I could become to enjoy enjoy being with foreigners. 여기서 치명적인 오류는 예시 부분에서 과거형 동사들을 사용하지 않았습니다. 과거에 대한 얘기 이기 때문에 꼭 과거형으로 서술하시길 바랍니다. On top of that, having variety kinds of friends can make one’s sight much broader. If we always meet people just like us, then our sights will be fixed in our world. For example, my professor highly recommended to students that they should participate in the exchange student programs. He said that meeting with various people whose backgrounds are totally different from us and being friends of them, students can understand their cultures as well as they can raise the language skill. And the ability to understand other culture will make students to do well at the society. As the society is much bigger than the university, there are many kinds of people in that and the ability is necessary to survive. 일단 마지막 부분은 불필요한 문장이라 생각 되 생략 하였습니다. 이 부분 이외에는 전반적으로 논리있게 자신의 의견을 잘 풀어 나갔습니다. 비록 구체적인 설명은 없었지만 이유에서 예시로 넘어가는 부분이 깔끔했고 정리가 잘되었습니다. To sum up, the fun that can be obtained from being with people who are not similar to us and the broader sights make it much valuable to have a relationship with them much valuable. For this regarding, I feel that we should not take a distance with people who are not same with us. Good: 24~30 점수: 24 위에서 참석한 것으로 보앗듯이. 첫 번째 바디에서는 논리적으로 에세이를 잘 풀어나갔지만 문법적오류들이 많이 보였습니다. 이러한 부분을 꼭 고쳐주시길 바랍니다. 그에 비해서 두 번째 바디는 아주 논리적으로 본인의 의견을 잘 풀어나갔습니다. 이러한 부분이외에는 문제되는 것이 없습니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |