■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words. ■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
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▶ Topic : | Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Cars have made a greater impact on society than airplanes. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
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Obviously, both cars and airplanes have brought great changes to our society. Some people think that airplanes have made a greater impact on society than cars, while others disagree. Both sides may have their own reasons to support their views. If I were asked to choose one, I would say that the effect airplanes have had on society far surpassed that of cars. There are several reasons as follows.
To begin with, the advent of airplane is influenced in the travel field and industry field. Before inventing airplanes, people had the way to go travels with ships was which are the only the way to go to other countries, but it had many problems such as costs, time, foods , and many workers who are cleaning the room and cooking foods for the passengers. However, this problem has been is resolved by the advent of airplanes, and additionally this has affected effect in the industry as it has made makes many jobs such as travel guides, mechanics, flight attendants, and etc. In this way, the airplane is influenced many industry` fields, which has helped helps to generally improve the area.
Secondly, airplanes have enabled globalization to thrive, which was almost impossible in the generation of cars and ships due to the cost and the distance. In the past, countries, whether small or big, had problems with global communication such as a summit because they needed lots of time to manage it which is resolved by the airplane. When countries are making the global laws such as the Geneva convention, the United Nations convention, the nations' nation`s leaders easily visited the summit place. That is why I think airplanes to contributed to help the globalization.
To sum up, airplanes demonstrated a greater impact on overseas travel and globalization. In this regard, I believe that airplanes have made more influence on society than cars have.
Comment :
산업과 국제화라는 두 가지 측면에서 주장을 잘 생각해주셨습니다. 설명과 사례 내용이 좀 더 구체적으로 보완된다면 훨씬 좋은 점수대의 글이 될 수 있을 것 같아요. 어색한 표현들 위주로 먼저 체크해주시고, 비슷한 내용을 반복적으로 설명하는 대신에 사례 내용을 구체적인 내용/사건/보도자료 등으로 제시하고, 설명에서도 산업발전과 국제화가 사회적으로 지니는 중요성 등을 강조해서 '영향'이 크다는 점을 구체적으로 보여줄 수 있는 형태로 글을 발전시켜주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 많으셨습니다~!
Independent Writing Rubrics Score 3/5
An essay at this level is marked by one or more of the following :
- Addresses the topic and task using somewhat developed explanations, exemplifications and/or details
(일정 수준의 설명과 예시를 활용하여 문제의 요구사항을 해결함)
- Displays unity, progression and coherence, though connection of ideas may be occasionally obscured
(문맥이 모호한 부분들이 있을 수 있으나 통일성, 연속성, 일관성이 어느 정도 드러남)
- May demonstrate inconsistent facility in sentence formation and word choice that may result in lack of clarity and occasionally obscure meaning
(문장의 구성 또는 어휘의 선택에서 내용의 명확성이 떨어지거나 의미 전달이 불분명한 부분들이 있음)
- May display accurate but limited range of syntactic structures and vocabulary
(답안의 내용은 주제에 부합하지만 제한된 문장구조나 어휘를 사용함)