▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly, food plays a significant role in people's life in many of the places where they work or play. Some people think g that people in the past ate healthier food than today's people. I think,^it is not true. Both sides may have their own reasons to support their views. If i were asked to choose one, I would say that today's people ate healthier food than past people. Their are several reasons as follows. To begin with, today's people look for good food because there are many healthy food. In the past, fFood was limited. Bbut, recently, many skills improved, so we can eat seasonal food as well as other countries' food. It is likely to bring a better result in our life. For example, today's people search for many food. Today issue topic is food. Food is life. Aalso, fFood is very important for people in life style. Certainly, healthier food was developed in today today's was healthier food developed than in the past. because of new technology skills. We can eat seasonal foods and seasonal fruits. also, we can eat other food easily, too. This is because fFood ingredients are readily available and various kinds of restaurants have sprung up. Sspecially, well-being food has become popular enjoy popularity. because well-being food consisted of much healthier and fresher food. As time goes by, young people look for healthier foods. All things considered, I strongly believe that today's people look for good food than past people for the reasons I have mentioned above. All in all, the importance of eating of good food cannot be overestimated in life.
Limited (1-16) 글자 수 300미달입니다. 미니멈 글자 수 채우지 않으면 감점됩니다.
서론 -소유격 뒤에 전치사말고 명사 오게 해주세요. -철자 오류 -띄어쓰기 오류
첫번째 본문 -대소문자 오류 아주 많습니다. -줄친 부분들 다 불필요/반복되는 내용입니다. -두번째 줄에서, so 넣어주셔야 문장 두개가 이어집니다. 그냥 , 로 이을 수 없습니다. for,and,nor, but, or, yet, so 중에서 하나로 이어주세요. -다섯번째 줄에서, 어색한 표현입니다. 바꾼대로 해주세요. -끝에서 세번째 줄에서, enjoy popularity는 음식에 쓰기에 좀 어색합니다. 그냥 유명해졌다, 평범하게 써주세요.
본문 2개 이상 쓰셔야 글의 설득력이 높아집니다. 1개의 본문으로 고득점 기대하기 어렵습니다. 또한, 같은 내용이 반복적으로 나옵니다. 과거와 다르게 어떤 기술이 발전했고, (냉동 기술, 요리 기술, 문화의 교류 등등) 그것이 왜/어떻게 건강한 식습관에 기여했는지 구체적으로 써주세요. 사람들이 건강한 음식을 과거보다 많이 찾는다는 좋은 이유가 아니고 그것에 대한 설명도 없습니다.
수고하셨습니다~~ |