▶ Your Answer : Each person has his or her own personality. Most people tend to get closer with people who are similar with themselves. Some people insist that it is better to have friends who are similar to you than those who are different from you while others disagree (에세이에서는 you를 서술하면 안됩니다). I agree with the former statement. In this writing, I will represent main reasons why it is beneficial to make friends who are similar to me based on my experiences. that people who are similar is the best form of friendship for the following two subsequent reasons. First of all, I do not have to get stressed out and concern about others due to different personalities. Most people could have hardship meeting and talking with people who have so different lifestyles and personality. For example, when working at IT company, I got so stressed out because of my boss's working style. That is, he always gave advice to others even though it was not his business. Also, he did not respect other's privacy and wanted to share personal affairs. But, he thought that that was a way to cooperate with other co-workers. However, he moved to another department, so I met a new boss who has similar personality. It was great for me to work with him in more enjoyable and cheerful atmosphere. So, we can enhance our work efficiency. Thus, I strongly believe that spending time with people who have similar personality is good not to get annoyed and irritated.
Additionally, I can have happier and more memorable time when spending time with friends who have similar with me, especially going trip to other countries. Traveling could be required to plan and prepare lots of things. The process could often make people have controversies owing to different preference. For instance, 3 years ago, I had a chance to go to trip to China with my friends. Before leaving to China, we had to make reservation of accommodation to stay in and where we visit in China. However, we did not have to consider because we had something in common about travel styles. All of us wanted to visit historical building while all the traveling, such as the old castles, temples, and palaces. So, it was one of the most invaluable trip in my life with my closed friends. Therefore, I powerfully think that spending time with friends who have similar with me can help me to have happier and more memorable time.
In conclusion, I have shown that main reasons why having friends who have similar with me is more beneficial than those who have different from me based on non-stressed out and no concerns with them and trip to friends who have similar friends. I firmly assert that it has some advantages.
점수: 23 인트로는 잘 서술된 에세이인거 같습니다. 인트로에서 훅 부터 시작해서 자신의 의견까지 전반적으로 잘 서술된 독립형 에세이입니다. 하지만 지금 이 에세이가 부족한 부분은 너무 구어체 입니다. 독립형 에세이에서는 구어체로 에세이를 서술하는 것 보다는 문어체로 서술하는 것이 좋을 거 같습니다. 모든 문장마다 I를 서술하는 것은 좋지 않다고 생각합니다. 이 부분들을 주의하면서 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |