▶ Your Answer : It is debatable whether movies and
television have negative effects on young people’s behavior. This is an
intriguing question because opinion regarding this issue can be different
depending on the individual perspectives. In my opinion, however, I support
that watching movies and television has positive impacts on young people for
the following reasons. First of all, it is beneficial for
youth to watch media such as television because it
broaden broadens their perspectives. To be specific, television and movies impart a
variety of information and show diverse global society, which as a result
allows people to better understand other cultures, lifestyles, and viewpoints.
As modern society is becoming has become increasingly globalized, today’s world requires
people with international views. People can do this by experience experiencing various
knowledge and cultures through television program. For example, when I was in a
high school, I watched Steven Universe which is the animation by Rebecca sugar.
It helped me to broaden my views of LGBT and showed that there was a different
people of diverse background in the world. Through this experience, I realized
that I should respect various people who suffer from discrimination. Therefore,
it proves that watching televisions and movies plays a important role in widening
young peoples’ viewpoints.
In addition, it is better for student
to enjoy foreign movies and television shows than to study a reading meterials
because it accompanies an educational process. In other words, it sounds
controversial but watching movies creates opportunities for students to directly
experience other cultures and study foreign languages, which helps youth to
obtain valuable information, stay ahead, and attain personal growth. People
need to be educated because education is the most powerful weapon that they can
use to change the world to change the world. To illustrate, Marry, who is the my best friend,
studied English through the television show, Friends, when she was in college. It
is more effective for her to study english by watching the television show than
by studying reading and listening textbook because the show gave her a more
concentrable condition and motivated her. Hence, this shows that it is vital
for young people to watch movies and television since it contains a learning
process.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that it
is important for young people to watch media. All things considered, it is my
belief that my argument concerning this topic has been precisely and
effectively delivered with the reasons mentioned above. Never should we forget
that this issue may have a huge impact on the future.
Good: 24~30 점수: 25 일단 문법적인 오류들이 많이 보입니다. 이러한 문법적인 부분들의 오류는 제가 첨삭한 것을 보시고 확인 해주시길 바랍니다. 독립형 에세이에서 가장 중요한 부분을 차지하는 것 중에 하나는 에세이가 얼마나 설득력이 있나 입니다. 지금 이 에세이 같은 경우는 이러한 부분에 있어서는 아주 적절하게 잘 하고 있는 거 같습니다. 특히 이 에세이를 통해서 왜 티비나 영화들이 아이들에게 좋은 영향을 주는 지를 잘 파악할 수 있었던 에세이였습니다. 잘 서술하였습니다. 수고많으셧습니다. |