▶ Your Answer :
An
intriguing topic of discussion at hand is whether consume money on traveling or
deposit money for the future. It may seem true that saving money for future is
more beneficial; however, with in-depth analysis it seems that rather too
far-fetched. Although people may hold different ideas and opinions, I personally
support the idea that spending money on trip has more advantages on account of two
reasons which I am going to elaborate.
To
begin with, traveling enables people to gain new experience. In detail, people
attain wider knowledge and broader perspective through experience. People will
always learn something from their experience. Take Warren Buffett, for
instance. He is a globally recognized CEO and an investor. Listed among 100
Most Influential People, he mentioned in an interview that experience from
traveling shaped him into a successful person and the experience is more
valuable than wealth. Such comment sounds highly convincing since he is a
well-known celebrity. I believe traveling will help people allow to acquire new
experience.
On
top of that, people who has traveled since they were young could acquire many
friends. To be specific, they could improve their social communication skills
through meeting during trip. Because there are much more opportunities to meet
people like a guide, roommates, and accompanies so on. Indeed, a study recently
conducted by UCL.A’s research department is well align with this statement.
According to the study, about 79 percent of participants that they are in favor
of the idea that young travelers are better to communicate others. Further,
their opinions were supported with logical reasons similar to that of mine.
In
a nutshell, although whether spending money on traveling or saving money for
the future is open to interpretation, it seems reasonable to claim that B
because of the two reasons discussed in this essay. I believe I have accurately
demonstrated my point of view on this matter. Since views on life and values
are differ among individuals, it seems like this subject will remain
controversial.
점수: 28 구조적으로 잘 서술된 독립형 에세이입니다. 지금 이 에세이를 통해서 왜 우리가 돈을 여행에 투자를 해야하는 지를 잘 알 수 있었던 독립형 에세이였던 거 같습니다. 전체적으로 각 단락에 대하여서 설명이 아주 논리정연하게 잘 서술되어 잇는 거 같습니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
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