▶ Your Answer : Some people think that all high school students are not necessary to do not have to learn basic economics. However, in my opinion, all high school students should
learn basic economics, because chance of learning basic economics is rare after
high school and students are likely to be rich after. To begin with, after graduating
high school, students become adults. If students are not majoring in economics,
they would not take a course about economics in their full life. Because they would
concentrate on their major, they would not study economics, but would just hear
very roughly by the news or people. 주장 설명이 너무 취약한 편입니다. supporting detail이 더 자세해야합니다. For example, my friend, who is 26 years old,
did not learn basic economics at the high school and she knows very little about
economics now.
On top
of that, learning basic economics(이 단어 너무 반복되고 있어요) before adults can make students wealthy later.
Starting economic activities with economic acknowledge, students will know more
about current of money, then it will make success them a wealthy men. According
to an article, rich people let their children learn economics before adult for
their success in money. (이거를 예시로 쓰신 거 같은데 paragraph를 이렇게 끝내버리면 point가 없어보여요)
To sum up, students would not learn economics after they become
adults and economics is important equipment of being rich. In this regard, I
strongly believe that Basic economics is necessary to all high school students.
because, and로 문장시작하는거 지양해주세요
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