▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly, doing study studying plays a significant rules in people's daily life in many of the places where they work or play. Some people say that studying alone is beneficial while others do not think differently. If I were asked to choose one, I would say that studying in group is better for the reasons and examples as follows. group studying is better for the following two subsequent reasons.
To begin with, group study allows people to cultivate qualities needed to success in life succeed in life. Studying with other people requires many obligations such as managing time, abiding by rules, being diligent. This obligations are fulfilled, they are likely to bring a good result in school and life When these obligations are fulfilled, they might bring about better result (better result가 무엇인지를 명확하게 설명하고 넘어 가는 것이 좋을 거 같습니다). For instance, My youngest brother did poorly in English subject. he used to study alone at a school library. However, He has changed little by little after he started to join in English study group gradually after participating in English group studying. He realized that His punctuality in participating the group could help him focus on study better while his laziness could negatively affect on everyone. He had to memorize many vocabularies and done his homework before attending the group everyday. He became getting A in English subject, more prompt with time, and even mingle with other students better. Without this experience, he would still have gotten lower grade in English subject.
To sum up, the advantages of studying with people far outweigh those of studying alone for the reasons I have mentioned above. All in all, Studying in group cannot be overestimated in the pursuit of success in life.
점수: 23 너무 한 단락에 많은 정보를 넣으려고 하는 거 같습니다. 이렇게 서술하다 보면 에세이가 전체적으로 장황하게 됩니다. 또한 지금 이 에세이는 너무 예시 중점이기 때문에 이유를 통해서 무엇을 말하려고 하는 것인지 잘 파악이 되지 않습니다. 따라서 좀 더 에세이를 서술할 때 간결하게 서술하면서 이유에 대한 구체적인 설명을 많이 하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
감사합니다! '그룹스터디를 하다.'에 관한 표현 정확하게 알려주시면 감사하겠습니다 TT 좋은 하루보내세요 ♥
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