▶ Your Answer : It is arguable that what kind of following has the greatest impact when people consider a major purchase (그래서 following들이 무엇인가요? 명확하게 명시하시길 바랍니다). This is an interesting question because options concerning this can be different according to depending on the individual perspective. From my point of view, recommendation from friends is the greatest impact on considering a major purchase on account of two reasons; relationship building and similar preference. To begin with, the most important reason for my opinion is that it can have relationship building. relationship can become strengthened In other words, whey people give recommendation each other, they can contact with different types of friends. Contacting with them, they begin to wonder their friends' lives naturally (뭔가 개연성이 많이 결여되는 것 같다라는 느낌이 많이 드는 거 같습니다). It can have positive impact on their relationship building. There is an example of this issue that Amy who is my university school best friend. We just know each other's names. One day, I wanted to buy a bag but I did not know what brand have attractive designs. I suddenly thought that Amy's mother is a famous bag designer. I contacted to her to ask what kind of brand is the most attractive. Since then, we have contacted again, which made us become best friendship. Another reason from my argument is that they can have similar tastes Furthermore, people can have similar tastes. To illustrate my argument, the young are sensitive in trend. They often use when they buy stuffs that are suited with popularity. Friends suit well in my taste because we are sharing similar interests and ages. For instance, a study conducted by Oxford Magazine has showed that people prefer friends' recommendations. Oxford Magazine related person interviewed with street citizens. 70 percents of citizens stated that friends can recommend things that are better suited to their taste and that are in tune with the generation's culture. All things considered, it is my assertion that recommendation from friends is the greatest impact when people consider a major purchase. Never should forget that this issue may have a huge impact on our future.(342자)
점수: 22 일단 이 에세이를 읽으면서 가장 크게 느낀 것 중에 하나는 각 단락들이 개연성이 많이 결여 되는 거 같습니다. 개연성이 결여 된다라고 느껴지는 이유는 전체적으로 설명 부분에 있어서 모호할 뿐만 아니라 설명이 연관성이 없이 이어져나가는 거 같습니다. 따라서 지금 이 에세이에서 가장 필요한 것은 개연성 인 거 같습니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |