■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic :
It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation. |
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▶ Your Answer :
It is debatable whether it is more significant for governments to invest in the improvement of Internet access than public transportation. In general, the consensus view seems to be that governments should spend money to enhance public transportation. In my opinion, however, I firmly believe that governments should invest in Internet access for the following two subsequent reasons.
First and foremost, securing Internet access can be advantages since the Internet provides endless information with just one mouse click. To be specific, people can acquire valuable knowledge in terms of education and cultural information by using the Internet. The advanced Internet access is likely to provide people with the satisfying searching ability. For example, when I was an elementary school student, I had a hard time doing my challenging science assignments. However, with the help of updated computer lab, I could search for information that I need and finish them successfully. Now I come to think of it, had it not been for the Internet, I would have not finished them perfectly and would have taken a lot of time.
In addition, improving public transportation is not an effective investment because it requires a great deal of money and land. To be specific, governments are not more likely to gain the efficiency of investment than they expect. When it comes to the Internet, however, governments can gain more reputation from their community as people tend to need the Internet more frequently. For instance, there is a poll conducted by Johns Hopkins University with 500 current university students as respondents. The purpose of the survey is to understand the consensus view about the accessibility of the Internet. The majority of respondents replied that today’s people want to access anywhere they want. An overwhelming 79 percent responded that governments should spend money to enhance Internet access even in the countryside.
In conclusion, taking valuable searching ability and the efficiency of investment into consideration, I strongly believe that it is more significant for governments to invest in the accessibility of the Internet.
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점수: 27/30
1. conclusion의 길이를 3문장 이상으로 늘려주세요. (한 문단 = 3문장 이상입니다!)
2. 문법은 대체적으로 깔끔한 편입니다. +) 가정법 용법을 복습해주시면 좋을 것 같아요.
3. 두 가지 옵션을 모두 설명했다는 점이 좋았습니다!
수고하셨습니다. :)