▶ Your Answer : Undoubtedly, knowing about diverse countries plays a significant role in the globalized world these days. Some people think that going to museums is the best way to getting to know about a country while others do not think differently. If I were asked to choose one, I would say that people cannot obtain real knowledge about a country by visiting museums. To begin with, visiting museums allows people to have a confine understanding. To elaborate in detail, the information in the museum is likely to dead one. In other words, there are more new and vivid cultural sources outside such as a local people, a central park, a restaurant and a shopping mall. For example, when I visited Guam with my family, I actively roamed around the island while rest of my family took a rest in the resort. Thanks to this journey, I found that there were various sightseeing and people in that small island. Besides, I accidently met Ryan, Guam's original resident, and talked a lot with him and learned about Guam cultures. It makes me have a interest about this island. After that, I visited Chamoro museum with my family and soon found that information in the museum is so slight and old-fashioned. Thus, I stated current culture of Guam to my family members. Furthermore, there were some erroneous things such as name of the mountain's name. Did I not meet Ryan, we might misunderstand about the country. All things considered, the disadvantages of getting to know a country by accessing museums far outweigh those of going to another places. All of all, having a variety of sight is cannot be overestimated in life.
점수: 28 지적할 부분이 없습니다. 있다고 하면 한 단락만 서술한 것인데. 지금 이 에세이 같은 경우는 이러한 부분이 오류가 되지 않는 것이 한 단락에서 장황하지 않고 간결하게 이 에세이에서 자기가 무엇을 말하려고 하는 것인지를 구체적으로 잘 보여주고 있습니다. 이유 부터 시작해서 결론까지 아주 논리정연하게 자신의 주장을 잘 보여주는 거 같습니다. 전체적으로 잘 서술하였습니다. 수고많으셨습니다. (275) |