▶ Your Answer : It is controversial whether parents in modern society use much time with their kids. In this regard, I think parents do not have time to be with their children. This is because parents have tons of workload, and children also have many things to study. to do tons of study.
To begin with, I can say that busy life of modern people makes parents spend more time working. in their works. To be specific, parents should work endlessly to pay their children's tuition fee, taxes, and insurance fee. In order to pay all that, parents must work hard and endlessly, even on weekends. Therefore, people who have children do not have time to be with their children in real life. For example, when I was a kid, my mother worked 12 hours per day; she got up early in the morning and fell asleep right after she got back home. Although it was not intended, we could not talk each other and spend time together. Thus, busy life of modern people can make a wall between children and their parents by separating them to share daily lives.
Moreover, even though parents have time to use on their children, children also have not enough time to play with their parents as children are also busy with their studies. These days, parents who want their children's success compel their children to study all day. In other words, kids go to school in the morning and go to extra classes as well; after regular classes finish, they go to private academies to study more until night. For example, in South Korea, even seven to eight year-old children are living tough lives due to their parent's greed; they want to raise their children to become doctors or lawyers. Therefore, children cannot spend time with their best friend, their parents. Therefore, as parents' greed compels their children to do tons of study, parents cannot use time to be with their children.
To sum up, I strongly believe that parents spend less time taking care than before for the following reasons: tons of workload and tons of study. I believe that ~ (주제에 대한 생각 + 마무리)
- 문장이 길어지며 발생하는 문법 실수가 많습니다. - children; 복수형, So와 and, but을 자주 사용 --> Therefore 등 다른 표현도 다양하게 사용해주세요.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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