▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that parent’s strict
rules may influence badly to their children due to the possibility it limits children’s
creativity. However, in my opinion, parental teaching is very essential for
children. This is because it is not easy for children to control their time to
do valuable works without parent’s managing, and children commonly have limited
perspectives for deciding what they should do. (GOOD)
To begin with parent’s strict rules are
very essential to their children for controlling time. To be specific, children
are very weak on temptations and exposed to all kinds of visual materials such
as computer games and broadcasting video. Thus, it is very difficult for
them to control their time to allocate to studying or reading books instead of
watching TV shows. Recent statistics from United States National Statistical Office shows
that more than 80% of children usually spend their time for doing computer game
and watching video when their parent are not with them. This result can
represent why parents' strict rules are necessary for children.
On top of that, children have narrow views, and their thoughts are often limited when they face some difficult situation. Therefore, they cannot decide their
future job and direction easily. It is obvious that children sometimes have
creativity when they are not controlled by parent’s strict rules; however, they
still need to be opened to many different situations and should be taught to
think widely through their parent’s supervision. In a study conducted by Korea
Ministry of education, if children are not under their parent’s rule, many
children want to be entertainers such as a group singer, dancer, or movie star
regardless of their talents. (영화 배우가 되는 것이 부정적이라고만 볼 수 없습니다. 좀 더 elaborate해서 아이들에게 왜 부모의 guidance가 도움이 되는 지 서술해주세요) In order to prevent children from making decisions in a rush, the role of the parents is very important
for children.
To sum up, children have to be managed and
taught by parent especially until they can distinguish what is more important
and crucial thing for them. In this regards, I believe that parent’s strict rules
are very important to their children.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC | ORGANIZATION | PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE | LANGUAGE USE | GRAMMAR | GOOD | GOOD | FAIR | GOOD | FAIR | 각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD |
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