▶ Your Answer : These days, the usage of transportation is steadily increasing since transportation became one of the necessities in our life. It surely changed our life more comfortable and faster. Some people think that airplanes largely affected the society, specifically in the aspect of the speed of airplanes. However, in my opinion, cars have made a greater impact on society than airplanes.
To begin with, cars are more widely used than airplanes. In our daily lives, cars have dominated the fundamental portion, which can never be neglected now. Nearly every people in the world move via cars, whether the destination is close or far away. Currently, it is almost impossible for people in the world to live and transfer without cars. On the other hand, airplanes are only used in certain exceptional circumstances, for instance, when people travel to another country or another continent. As cars are taking the cardinal part of our life, they have affected the society more than airplanes. (구체적인 예시 (경험/통계/역사적 사실 등) 을 적어주세요)
On top of that, cars directly affected the environment around us. By the invention and expansion of the usage of cars, considerable amount of differences have been made in our society. First of all, many new infrastructures have been erected. For example, parking lots, car service centers, car sale markets, and further infrastructures have been established due to cars. Furthermore, new workplaces have been created; car washer, car mechanics, taxi drivers, and so on. It is true that airplanes also made such changes. However, cars are much more significant than those due to the airplanes due to the massive changes in society it brought. - 차가 가지고 온 사회적 변화의 물결; 제시된 내용은 주로 경제적 변화에 초점을 맞추고 있기 때문에 "차는 우리 사회에 교통수단 뿐만 아니라 주된 상품으로 많은 경제적 변화를 이끌었다"로 이유를 reframe 하는 것이 좋습니다.
To sum up, cars have been used more predominantly, and they have influenced the circumstances of the society directly. In this regard, I think cars have greatly affected the society than airplanes.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
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FAIR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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GOOD
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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