Many Different opinions may exist over the argument whether the government should invest in the museum and concert or recreational facilities, such as the playground and swimming pool. As far as I am concerned, I believe that the government should spend more budgets for building recreational facilities because it has more benefits. The two ideas below can be valid evidence to support my opinion.
The government should invest more on recreational facilities because it can help more and various people to find emotional relief. Many people get weary with too much stress. Therefore, they need the place and ways to take a rest and relieve stress. Obviously, museums and concerts also help people to reduce their stress. However, only limited people who are interested in arts and music can gain massive benefits from it. In contrast, people from diverse background and different ages people can use the recreational facilities for exercising, gathering with others and so on another purpose. Consequently, spending money to build recreational facilities is a more effective way to use the budget of government. To support this, an anonymous poll conducted by Facebook Survey Page can supports my view. The poll surveyed 30,000 Koreans ages between 10 to 60 along with questionnaires. When they were asked about the investment for welfare, more than 70 percent of the respondents answered that the most effective investment is creating more facilities for taking a rest, such as a park, playground, and exercising place. Some people commented that people need these facilities at least one thing in a per every town. This result of poll proves the benefits of recreational facilities.
The government should spend more money for people’s health than the cultural things. The government should not only control people’s health standards but also develop cultural aspects. Unfortunately, the annual budget of the government is limited, therefore they invest their money based on the priority. The foundation of people and country, such as people’s health, security, and basic life is more critical and important than an entertainment and a culture.(이 문장이 topic sentence입니다. 앞에 불필요하고 반복적인 문장들은 의미없이 글의 길이만 늘일 뿐입니다.) In fact, there is no reason to spend more money for museum and concert than the recreational facilities with eyes of the government and the public service. According to a post by a renowned sociologist, Simon Choi from YUK(Youngnam University of Korea), our society is on a way to become the Fourth Industrial Revolution, so that the government should more focus on the basic and foundation of the nation. He also mentioned that the private companies have more advantage to handle various area and special industries, such as it is better for the private companies to deal with the fields of entertainment, culture, and technology than the government. He concluded this tendency will be more intensified in the future.
To sum up, I firmly believe that my explanations above sufficiently prove the advantages of investment recreational facilities. In order for people to acquire these benefits, the government should spend more money for building recreational facilities than cultural things.
[Score]
21-23
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