▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly, helping people by donating plays a significant
role in people's daily lives in many of the places where they work or play.
Some people think that people who make more money have to give away more to
charities while others do not. Both sides may
have their own reasons to support their idea. If I had to say, I would say that
the lager amount of money should be given from rich people.
To begin with, when people with larger income spend more money to help people
in need, it's it is likely to bring about
an increase in their overall happiness. They can feel a sense of great
achievement by seeing the poor people's situation is getting better. To be
specific, a fulfilling experience gives them a chance to make their life more
meaningful. For example, my sister used to make a lot of money as a doctor.
However she was depressed thinking that her life had become an exhausting
routine and meaningless. She spent the whole day working hard hoping that she
could outdo others. However, it was not easy for her because everyone was
working as hard as she was. Fortunately, she could deal with such pressure by
donating 30% of her income for the poor children. Thanks to her, the children
were able to buy new clothes and books, and thus be happier than before. This
positive impact she contributed to helped her realize that her life became more
meaningful. If she donated less money, she would not have been able to cope
with her stress and strain.
In addition, when people donate more money, it's it is likely to improve their work performance. An experience of
helping others makes them be confident about themselves. When people are
confident about them^selves, they tend to
generate more energy to put into their work. A study from Tokyo university
found that there was a huge difference between those two groups of adults in
work performance. One group consisted of who donated 20% of their income, and
another group was made up of those who spent only 1%. The former was more
likely to be diligent, passionate and self-disciplined while the latter tended
to be lazy, procrastinate and act on impulse. In particular, the first group
went to work earlier and even encouraged others to help people. Eventually,
they tended to promoted easily and made more money. This implies that donating
more money is connected to success professionally.
All things considered, I strongly believe that richer people should spend more
money for the poor people for the reasons I have mentioned above. All in all,
donating as much as people afford is a key to success in life.
Good (24-30) 서론 -both 는 두가지를 뜻하므로 side-->sides
첫번째 본문 -축약형 지양해주세요. it's-->it is
두번째 본문 -themselves 붙여서 써주세요.
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수고하셨습니다~~
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