▶ Your Answer :
Many people may argue that, it is reasonable for young people to spend
lots of time on their pets because they can learn responsibility. Contrary to
the popular belief, I think in the modern
society, young people spend too much time on their pets for the following
reasons I have mentioned above; people may lack of time to do important things such as studying, and they may feel
stressful.
First of all, spending too much time on pets lead to a lack of time to spend in really important tasks such
as studying and working. It is obvious that, pets require lots of works attention. People have to clean up after them, feed them and even have to play
with them. So, they may lose time to do other things. For example, when
my cousin was in the university, she bought
a dog. It was her first time to raise a pet, so she was really excited.
However, as time passed, she realized that she is was spending too much time
with her dog lots of time in him. As a result, she couldn't study
a lot and failed at the first mid-term test. It means that, raising a pet can remove the time to do really essential
jobs.
Moreover, spending numberous a huge chunk
of time on pets might be stressful. To be specific, many people buy pets
since they feel lonely and they need a family.
However, they usually feel embarrassed stressed
when they realize that they need to do lots of things for their pets. It could cause lots of stress to people. They can't throw
or get rid of their pets, but they often could
feel tired. According to the research conducted by the Pet Mind Center in Korea
in 2014, 67% of pet-raising people was were spending over 9 hours with their pets daily, and 94% of them felt stressful, although
they liked their pets. They said that pets need to spend time with their
master, and it is tired tiring for humans
to adjust their lifestyles. It means that, spending lots of time on pets is
essential, but is also tired tiring and stressful.
In conclusion, I
firmly believe that young people spending too
much time on their pets isn't so good for the reasons I have mentioned
above. Pets are is a living creatures, and it requires they
require lots of things to do, which makes
raising them isn't a easy difficult
task.
Writing
0-30 Score Scale |
Fair (17-23) |
Score |
23 |
Overall
Comment: |
포인트가 좋고 설득력이 있게 잘
쓰셨어요. 다만 문법 오류가 많아서 감점을 드렸습니다. 위 지적사항들을 참고하세요. |
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