▶ Your Answer : Some people think that it is more beneficial to live in big cities than in rural places. However, in my opinion, living out of cities has a lot of advantages in terms of raising children, considering the fact that it helps children be healthy; the fact that also, the fact that they live outside of the city and be close to the nature makes children realize the importance of environment.
To begin with, when it comes to children's health, there is no greater way than staying in rural area. To be specific, the importance of health should be prioritized. Without health, nothing can be achieved. Like there is a saying, "Sound body, sound mind", keeping children healthy enables them to maximize their concentration level as well. For instance, a study was conducted by the Board of Children Education to determine whether environment could affect children's health problems. There were two groups monitored. The first group was formed of people who lived in rural areas. They were asked to take tests to measure their level of health. The other group had people who lived in big cities and were given the same direction. The researcher compared the outcomes and recorded that the people who lived in rural areas obtained better health. This is mainly due to the fact that there are a lot of places to go out and exercise for people who do not live in big cities. This study demonstrated that living out of cities has great impact on their health problem.
On top of that, it has significant effects on children's notion since it can help them know about the importance of environment. To explain, the environment should never come second place. Once the environment is destroyed, there is no way to recover. If we really think about the next generation to come, we must do everything to preserve the environment; one way to do is letting our children to be familiar with environment. I will take an example of myself to illustrate this. When I was young, I used to get along with my friends in the forest since I lived in a rural area. I had a happy time and enjoyed playing. After a few years, I moved to an urban area. As I made more and more friends there, I was surprised since my new friends handled environment roughly. Due to my new friends, I realized that my rural life was so precious and decided to protect nature more. (자연의 중요성을 안다는 것이 이유의 핵심이므로 이 부분 또한 강조해주세요)
To sum up, taking health problem and realizing the importance of environment into consideration, it is better to live in rural places. In this regard, I firmly believe that children should spend their time in rural areas.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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