▶ Your Answer : Without a doubt, sports plays a significant role in people's daily lives in many of the places where they work and play. Some people think that it is necessary to spend same amount of money on sports compared to on libraries in Universities, (주제 단어 그대로 사용하지 마시고 가급적 paraphrase해 주세요) while others do not believe it. Both sides may have their own reasons to support their views. If I had to choose one, I would say that sport is essential for the university students, and the school should provide funding for it. There are several reasons as follows.
To begin with, when students enjoy playing sports in their free time, it can improve their academic performance. Playing sports can strengthen students' physical health as well as their relationships between peers. When they become healthier and have great relationships with others, it is more likely to see students bringing a better result in school. For example, according to a study conducted by Seoul National University in 2003, the researchers found a huge difference between two groups of young adults. One group was consisted of those who spent more than two hours a week exercising, and the other group was made up of those who did not. The researchers found that the former was likely to have a higher level of achievement in their academic performance. In particular, most of the first group showed a stronger concentration in class, a better ability to delay gratification, and a longer memory span. On the other hand, many students of the second group tended to get distracted easily, act on impulse, and have less responsible for their assignments. This implies that the moderate exercise is the key to success, academically as well as professionally. Without playing sports, one would fall behind.
In addition, when universities have better facilities in sports, it is easier to get higher fame in society. The university which is well equipped with many sports facilities is to be famous among high school students because such university is very unique. When the university becomes popular among students, it is likely to be considered as a prestige school. For example, when my brother was in high school, he could not make a decision which universities to go. It was not easy to make a choice since most of them boasted about their well-functioned libraries. Fortunately, he was able to find the university which has not only great libraries but also great sports facilities in school. Finally, he applied and now he is a student of that university. This personal experience shows that the investment of sports facilities can affect school's fame when students make a decision. --> sport facilities 가 좋아서 얻어진 학교의 fame을 알고 그 학교에 진학한 것이 아닌 여러가지 요소가 수준이 비슷하던 중 학교의 sport시설이 좋아 골랐다는 점을 보아 예시와 이유 간 연관성이 매우 strong 하다고 보기 어렵습니다 All things considered, I strongly believe that the advantages of spending on sports far outweigh those of libraries for the reasons I have mentioned above. (mentioned라고 만 작성하지 마시고 본인이 작성한 이유와 이것이 결론으로 이어지는 부분 또한 conclusion파트에서 요약해주세요)
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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