▶ Your Answer :
A thought-proving current issue concerns with whether to start the day early morning or later in the day. Some people think that it is better to commence their day later in noon time. However, in my opinion, it is more beneficial to begin working in the early morning for the following subsequent reasons. To begin with, getting up early and going to work in the morning helps people to socialize with others more. Most of the people who works work in company tend to start their day early. It is normal for working personnel to say hello to their colleagues in the morning. Additionally, they are able to can hang out with others after work. However, if people wake up late and work until the late night, they will have different timetable as others. Also, while they are working others might go out for dinner or etc. For example, I used to work in a hotel where they had 2 different shifts. One was in the morning and the other one was in midnight time. Whenever I had morning shift, I was able to talk with my colleagues while working and was able to enjoy my day after work. On the other hand, when I had midnight shift, since there are only few people working together I always felt bold. On top of that, it is good for people to take sunlight in the morning. The sunlight include some nutrition that people need such as vitamin D. It helps people to enhance their immune system as well as their skin health. According to the study conducted by World Health Organization(WHO), participants were divided in to two groups. The first group was people who takes sunlight more than 10 hours a day. The second group was people who takes sunlight less than 4 hours a day. The study have found out that the participants from the first group had more vitamin D consisted in their blood and tend to have more healthier body. To sum up, getting up early and starting the day in the morning helps people to socialize and keep their body strong. In this regard, I prefer to start my day in the morning than getting up late and finishing my work at late night.
Good: 24~30 점수: 27 지적할 부분이 없는독립형 에세이입니다. 독립형 에세이에 있어서 가장 중요한 부분을 차지하는 것 중에 하나는 에세이가 얼마나 설득력이 있나 입니다. 지금 이 에세이 같은 경우는 설득력 부분에 있어서는 완벽하게 소화 하고 있는 거 같습니다. 각 단락들이 자신들이 무엇을 말하려고 하는 것인지 잘 알 고 있는 거 같습니다. 특히 구체적인 설명과 적절한 예시 사용은 에세이로 하여금 아주 설득력 있게 만드는 거 같습니다. 잘 서술하엿습니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |