▶ Your Answer :
It is an intriguing question because, concerning opinion this topic can be relying on individual perspectives It is an intriguing question as different opinion exists concerning with the topic (it에 대상이 모호합니다 이 에세이의 주제를 명확하게 서술하시길 바랍니다). In my opinion, however, I support that the review from online communities influences on our choices for the following reasons.
First of all, the review in online communities has much of information about stuff has important information about the product. To be specific, In online world, there are various people who have different human being, personal preference, religious or personality different preferences when choosing a product. Through this categories, we can get detail and much information that I want. For example, someday, I needed dress for my speaking contest. To purchase I searched red-dress through online-shopping mall and than I read review of this dress from the people who bought this dress. Through the diverse people’s review, I could buy pretty dress that fit in me. Therefore, online communities’s review is best way to buy things to take the goods that I need.
Secondly, the review in Internet communities gives efficiency to us. To be specific, reviewing through online communities create opportunities which as a result allow people to save the time, productive life and less expand their energy creates opportunities to save time and energy. Today’s world requires to utilize their time effectively. People can do this by using the technological tools or government infrastructures. For instance, If we want some advice from friends or magazines, definitely it wastes time to get date of some goods. To get some information about the stuff, we have to call to our friends or find out magazine which have information about goods that I want to find. In contrast, without this steps these steps (steps가 복수이기 때문에 this보다는 these가 났습니다), we just type the key-word about the stuff on Internet and review the people’s opinion. Hence, I recommend the commands of online communities reviews in order to save our precious time.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that the online communities’s review is best way to take some stuff. This is my belief that this issue have been effectively and precisely delivered with the reasons mentioned above. I hope this topic may have some impact on our daily life.
점수: 23 일단 지금 이 에세이는 너무 stuff라는 구어체 스러운 표현들을 자주 서술하는 거 같습니다. 이러한 단어는 적절하지 않으니 product나 goods로 서술하시길 바랍니다. 또한 지금 이 에세이는 두 번째 단락이 주제를 벗어났습니다. 이 단락을 통해서 왜 온라인 리뷰가 좋은지를 잘 못느끼겠습니다. 좀 더 구체적으로 온라인의 장점을 더 열거하시면 설득력을 높여줄 거 같습니다. 또한 단수 복수에 알맞게 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 지금 이 에세이는 이러한 오류가 많습니다. 숙지하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |