▶ Your Answer :
People usually emphasize s the importance of the good manner. The kindness, however, I think that this action does not have any usefulness in current society, because it is sort of redundant in living their life. Furthermore, people may feel uncomfortable with other's favor,. which discourages them from expressing some goodwill.
First of all, pPeople could live by themselves without others' kindness. In the past, especially on the pioneer era, every settlers had should have to cooperate in order to survive. However, these days, facilities are well equipped and the quality of the life of people have become way better. Hence, no more kindnesses is were required. For example, I could live in my own space without direct communication with others or asking for help to my neighbors. Last vacation, I moved to the new city which is packed with residents and infrastructures which support their living. Not showing any kindness for other people nearly about three months, I have not gotten any blames or troubles. In fact, it is natural for these days. The only people who I truly pay my attention to are my family and handful of my friends. As the society has been changed, there are no room for the community ies members to show gratitude or favorable manners.
Second, people are not kinder than before because they do not trust each other more then they did on the past. Currently, there are thousands of crimes which using a name of kindness under their wrong behaviors. Fraud, embezzlement, and kidnap are prevailing, and their method becaome smarter and smarter, which indicates that kindness should be considered s as potential dangerous. According to the research conducted by the Criminal Justice Department in South Korea in 1990, 80% of the crimes have initiated by the relationship which seemed s to be hospitable. The victims easily believed the criminals at the first place. As people aware of this result, they tend to raise their kids to be alert of kindness from strangers as well as encouraging themselves not to be involved in this suspicious behavior. In addition, the Justice department also issued the campaign of be aware of suspicious kindness. Finally, the same study taken in 2010, the researchers concluded that people refrain themselves from being kind to others and feel uneasy of other's hospitality. As a result, the society becaome less generous and kind.
For these reasons, I believe that the people are less kinder than back in the past. This is because society becaome convenient to make a living by one's own without other's kindness and society is being filled with dangers under the name of it. Fair (20-23)
서론 -emphasis: 명사, emphasize:동사 -, which 로 써주세요.
첫번째 본문 -대소문자 오류 -should have 는 가정법; 실제로는 이러지 않았지만 이래야 했었다 라는 의미입니다. 따라서 그냥 과거형 써주세요. -kindnesses 는 어색한 표현입니다. -last vacation 문장 과거형이므로 move-->moved -which 절 동사 필요. is -have p.p 에서 get 의 과거완료는 gotten
두번째 본문 -become을 쓰시려면 has become을 해주세요. became 이 더 자연스러운 표현입니다. 이미 ~게 되었다는 의미이므로. -수동태는 be p.p -예시 문장에서, 문맥상 과거이므로 seem-->seemed -마지막 문장도, 같은 맥락에서 become-->became 내용은 괜찮으나 문법/표현/문장 실수가 많으십니다. 연습해주세요.
수고하셨습니다~~
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