It is evident that in our society, an
ability to deal with obstacles has tremendous importance in our lives. Some
people think that personal abilities are significant for people to tackle
obstacles rather than reflecting the past, while others do not. I however,
believe that it is essential for people to understand the past to overcome
challenges that is coming and will come to us. There are several reasons to
support my argument. So, I will limit to the two the most relevant to the
topic: the concept of improvement and preparation.
First
of all, the most important reason for my thinking this way is that people can
improve themselves by comprehending what they did. This reminds me of the time
when I was a second-year high-school student. At that time, I took a history
midterm, and mark a wrong answer because I did not know how to mark the answer
on the form of the answer sheet that was changed from that of the previous
exam. It was my mistake because the school had announced that the answer sheet
would be changed. After that time, I
figured out how to mark answers on the answer sheet, and I did not make the
same mistake again.
Another
reason why I think this way is that we study the past, we can prepare our
future. Commonly in society, preparation is considered significant in
particular, if it is related to safety. Approximately four years ago, Seosan
city where my parents live was flooded due to a huge rain. Unfortunately, it
sweeped the city. However, the government officials figured out the weak places
of the rains in the city and prepared another big rain by reinforcing the weak
places. If they had not prepared the rain based on the past experience, Seosan
city would have been flooded again and again whenever it rains a lot.
In
conclusion, I believe that understanding the past is one of the most important
activities that we have to do in order to successfully deal with the obstacles
now and in the future for reasons such as improvement and preparation. All
things considered, with the reasons mentioned above, I believe that I have
sufficiently and adequately explained my position on the matters regarding the
topic.
첨삭해주시는 선생님들 항상 감사합니다. 덕분에 많이 배우고 있습니다.
질문이 있습니다.
'In conclusion'으로 시작하는 마지막 문장 template을 이대로 사용해도 괜찮을까요?
In conclusion, I believe that (my opinion) for reaons such as (reason A) and (reason B) 이렇게 사용하고 있습니다.
여기서, (reason A)와 (reason B)는 서론의 마지막 문장 the concept of (reason A) and (reason B)를 반복하는 형태로 사용하고 있고요.
보셨을 때, 혹시 수정해야할 부분은 없는지... 고견 부탁드리겠습니다.
(그리고 the reason인지 그냥 reasons 인지 헷갈립니다.
알려주시면 감사하겠습니다. )
꾸벅.