▶ Your Answer :
There might be
some people who believe that getting information from various news sources to stay
well-informed is not a good way. However, I personally disagree with the above idea
for the subsequent reasons. First, with development of technology, it is easier
to get information by introducing a lot of information platform. Second, it can
be a good way to save time to search information.
First of all, nowadays,
many information platforms make easy to get a news sources. Over the past few
decades, seeing television or reading books was the only way to get information.
However, a variety various ways of communication like SNS, smart phone’s applications and
internet have been introduced, all of which was are frequently and easily used by people
today. Let me bring up my personal story as an example. When I was attending
university, I had a lot of assignments and projects. In order to stay
well-informed, I found information through books and articles. However, it
takes took a lot of time so I could not find enough information. If I had gotten
information from many different kinds of news sources, I would have found easily that information back in university years when I
went the university.
In addition, news
sources help people save time for searching information. There is an old
saying, ‘time is gold’. This proverb emphasizes the value of time, and this
cannot be truer in the modern society. We’re are (줄임말은 삼가해주세요) living a busy and hectic life, so
saving time means we can do a lot more things later. According to a recent survey
done by Korea university, 78% of the respondents said that they usually get
information on almost every issue in the world by seeing news sources. This is
due to the fact that they do not have to find information by themselves. This
clearly shows that news sources allow people to save their time. (예시가 부족한 느낌. 밑에 피드백에서 자세히 설명드릴께요)
In conclusion,
today, it is easy to get data through a variety of information platforms and
can save time from various news resources. So I strongly believe that if we want
to retain well-informed, people should get information from many news sources.
[Score] 22-24 [Feedback] - 전반적으로 잘 쓰셨습니다 :) 글의 구조나 문장의 흐름, 주장, 예시 모두 좋습니다. - 다만, 사소한 문법적 오류가 조금 있고 (조금 더 신경써주세요) 두번째 아이디어의 예시의 경우 너무 간단해서 주장과 연관이 없어 보일 위험이 있습니다. 대부분의 응답자가 뉴스를 통해 정보를 얻는다는 것이 시간을 절약한다는 걸 뒷받침 하기에는 상당한 비약이 있죠. 뉴스를 통해 정보를 얻는 사람들이 책이나 문서를 통해 정보를 얻는 사람들보다 여유 시간이 많더라 라던지.. 조금 더 디테일하게 develop 하셔야 할 것 같습니다.
수고하셨어요~
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