▶ Your Answer : There might be some people who believe that
people should get information from various news sources to stay well-informed. However,
I personally disagree with the
above idea for the two subsequent reasons. First, sometimes news broadcasts
are biased, so it is hard to believe. Second, there is more efficient way to get
information.
First of all, news broadcasts are biased
because people make news. People who make news pursue profit, so sometimes they
make they sometimes produce wrong news to cheat viewers. People tend to believe what news says, therefore, news can
make people think wrong. According to a recent survey done by CH institution,
75 percent of respondents said that they believe that news is the most credible
sources. It is very dangerous because news can make people get bad believe wrong information.
People will live that they stay well-informed but it’s not true.(무슨뜻?) News will can make
people live with the wrongful idea think and later it will make cause a serious problem. This
is shows that news is not a good way to stay well-informed.
Second, there are more efficient ways to
get information such as internet. It spends a lot of time to find information
what I need because news gives us limited information.(문장 어색함. Since news provides us with limited information, it takes a lot of time to search for certain information 으로 수정바람) However, by using internet, we
can save time. I will provide an example of my friend, Kevin, whom I have known
since elementary school. He used to use news sources to get information when he
studied. But one day, he decided to use internet to get information with the advice from other people by asking to
people. This decision changed helped him to get better score better because by using internet he
could save time and he used it for study his academic courses. If he had used
news sources to get information, he wouldn’t have gotten good academic record.
In conclusion, news make people get wrong
thinking and using news sources is a waste of time. For these reasons, I personally
believe that people shouldn’t get information from various news sources.
[Score] 18-20 [Feedback] - 어색한 직독직해식 표현이 많습니다. 문장의 의도 파악이 어렵거나 글의 이해도를 떨어트립니다. 차라리 간결하고 쉬운 문장으로 말하고자 하는 바를 명확하게 표현하는 것이 좋습니다. - 예시가 부족합니다. 개연성이 떨어지지 않으려면 좀 더 디테일한 설명이나 상황 등을 추가해서 예시를 좀 더 풍부하게 만들 필요가 있습니다. 수고하셨습니다~ |