▶ Your Answer :
Some people
insist that cooking and eating at home is better than eating out at
restaurants. They think it is possible to save money and eat healthier food
when they cook and eat at home. However, I prefer eating out to cooking at
home. This is because there are many different options to eat and sometimes it
can be more expensive to cook at home.
To begin
with, there are many different options they people can choose eat at restaurants. Restaurants
are likely to provide various and nutritious foods with better taste. In this
sense, eating out at restaurants might be healthier than cooking at home. For
example, my family usually eat out. My parents choose healthy food that is hard
to be made at home, such as fish or seasoned meat. In this way, my family feel
that eating out is more efficient to promote health in diet.
On top of
that, eating out can save money and time, especially, when your family have a few
members. This is because it can be more expensive to buy all the ingredients to
cook than the total expense to eat out. Furthermore, considering you do not
need to spend time getting to get the ingredients, it seems more reasonable to eat out.
For example, my family have three members. Usually, it is more expensive to buy
the ingredients to cook for three people than to eat out. That is why my family
often decide to eat out.
To sum up,
restaurants provides various different foods with better taste and eating out
can save money and time as well. In this regard, eating out can be a better
choice that cooking and eating at home.
Comment : 주제에 맞는 주장을 논리적으로 잘 풀어주셨습니다. 분량이 더 보완된다면 훨씬 좋은 점수대의 글이 될 수 있을 것 같습니다. 보통 만점 답안은 500단어 정도의 분량이라고 하니 참고해주세요. 설명을 더 구체화해서 분량을 보완해주세요. 예를 들면 본론1에서는 옵션이 다양한 것이 왜 영양가와 연결되는지(ex.전문가가 영양을 고려해서 맛있게 조리하니까 양질의 음식에 대한 선택권이 많아짐)에 대한 설명을 구체화해볼 수 있습니다. 사례 내용도 보도자료나 연구결과를 소개하는 식으로 제시하면 좀 더 높은 점수대를 노릴 수 있으니 참고해주세요. 본론 둘 중에 하나는 보도자료로 제시해도 좋을 것 같아요. 수고 많으셨습니다~! Independent Writing Rubrics Score 3.5/5 An essay at this level largely accomplishes all of the following : - Addresses the topic and task well, though some points may not be fully elaborated (문제의 요구사항을 대부분 잘 해결함) - Is generally well organized and well developed, using appropriate and sufficient explanations, exemplifications and/or details (적절하고 충분한 설명과 예시를 사용하며 대체로 글의 구성과 전개방식이 양호함) - Displays unity, progression and coherence, though it may contain occasional redundancy, digression, or unclear connections (중복된 내용이나 관련 없는 내용, 불분명한 연결이 있을 수 있으나 통일성, 연속성, 일관성이 드러남)
- Displays facility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic variety and range of vocabulary, though it will probably have occasional noticeable minor errors in structure, word form or use of idiomatic language that do not interfere with meaning (글의 의미를 손상시키지 않는 범위 내에서 사소한 문장구조, 단어 형태 오류를 보일 수 있으나, 전반적으로 어휘・통사적 다양성을 갖춘 유창한 언어 사용을 보임)
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