▶ Your Answer :
Some people might say that leaders do not
have acknowledge and ignore mistakes for the sake of success can ignore the mistakes for the sake of success. However, in my opinion,
leaders have to admit their mistakes to be become successful following the two
subsequent reasons.
To
begin with, all people make mistakes in life and grow up by knowing and mending
the mistakes admitting mistakes allows people to become more matured. No one think thinks (one은 단수 주어 입니다) that successful leaders are perfect and do
everything well. We already know that they often make and find out mistakes and
fix them for the future. If some leaders argue that they have not made any
mistakes, they will be considered as an arrogant leader do not make any mistake, they are not considered as successful leader. For example, when I
was in the Korean military service for five years, I had a respected commander,
Hanho Moon. When he had meetings, he told subordinates that they should talk to
him when he had wrong plans and decisions. Therefore, he was able to could carry out
his tasks well with advice from the people at lower rank. Ultimately, his
reputation was automatically raised by a lot of soldiers and regarded as a good
leader. If it were not for his respectful personality, he could not have been
considered as a successful leader.
On
top of that, admitting mistakes assists one to broaden human network. The meaning
of success has completely changed compared to the past in comparison to the past. In the past, it was
merely focused on one’s own way to exceed others. Along with one’s ability, it
is crucial to be recognized by others and have followers in the group you
belong to. In this sense, acknowledging mistakes is necessary to be a successful
leader. For example, there was a poll conducted by the Korean Business
Association in 2011 with 256 employees as respondents. The purpose of the
survey was to understand the consensus about the prerequisites of a successful
leader. The majority of the respondents said that admitting and changing their
mistakes are chosen the most is the best quality of leader. The main reason was that employees Employees (설명을 서술할 때 the main reason~같은 표현법은 적절치 않습니다) will be fairly
disappointed If a leader does not acknowledge them and go straight without any
opinions. This survey proves that leaders should admit their mistakes in order
to be successful.
To
sum up, every successful leader has mistakes and becomes mature by admitting
mistakes. Moreover, admitting mistakes allow allows (ing뒤에는 단수 동사 입니다) human network broadened. In this
regard, I believe that we should admit our mistakes if we want to be a
successful leader.
점수: 27 약간의 문법적 오류들이 있는 독립형 에세이입니다. 이러한 오류는 제가 지적한 부분을 숙지하면서 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 하지만 이런 문법적인 부분 이외에는 아주 논리적으로 자신의 주장이 잘 보여지는 독립형 에세이입니다. 적절한 예시와 구체적인 설명을 통하여서 성공적인 리더는 사람들의 실수를 용납하는 것이라는 것을 구체적이고 논리있게 잘 보여주는 거 같습니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
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