■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic :
Do
you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Most
advertisements make products seem much better than they really are.
Use
your specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
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▶ Your Answer :
For most advertising
companies, advertisements can play important roles in their profits. As far as I am concerned, some people argue that the products and
those in advertisement are the same. With that being said, I would have to say that
most advertisements make (주어 동사 일치) products seem much better than they are and a concept
of allurement clearly illustrates this.
: First of all, advertising can draw
consumers’ attention by using models or many methods that can spotlight their
products. This is because consumers are likely to be enchanted or allured
easily by advertisements. Once they are exposed to advertisements, consumers
usually are attracted by the image of advertisements and do not care about
whether the quality of products will be good or not. For these reasons, many
advertisers are still paying for product advertisements. If they do not
advertise their products, it would be difficult to draw consumers’ attention. To
be specific, according to the TIME, more than 75 percent people in the United States
responded that they had several experiences of purchasing products because of the
attractive advertisements. In addition, among the respondents, over 70 percent of people are disappointed because of the low quality. Another really good example
is one of my friends' (소유격), Jane. While she was watching television in her living
room, she spotted one commercial that advertised some beautiful cosmetics. Even
though she already had some information about this products’ brand that these
products are more expensive than their qualities, she purchased them because of
the advertisement’s beautiful background and an attractive model. However, when
the purchased products arrived at her home, she got angry and annoyed because the
quality of the cosmetics was lower than her
expectation.
: Instances of the same sort can be
multiplied indefinitely. When taking into account these examples, facing
people, we may safely arrive at the conclusion that most advertisements can
help products to be shown better. Although I admit that there may be some
people who think that most advertisements are meaningless when it comes to its
efficiency, I strongly believe that no one can ignore the allurement when it
comes to advertisements.
P.S Body를 하나 더 쓴다면, 어떤 식으로 논거를 끌어가면 좋을까요..?
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점수: 25/30
1. 각 문단 시작 전에 tab 버튼 눌러서 들여쓰기 해주세요.
2. 템플릿 활용을 굉장히 잘 하시는 것 같습니다! 상황에 맞게 잘 변형하여 쓰시는 것 같아요 ^^
3. 질문주신부분) 저라면 과대포장 (양에 대한 과장)을 예로 들었을 것 같습니다. 광고에서는 치킨이 몇 조각으로 나오는ㄷ
실제로 받아보니 말라 비틀어진 치킨 몇 조각이었더라~
아니면 요거트가 통 가득 차게 채워져 있는 광고를 보고 샀더니 한참 밑까지밖에 안오더라~ 이런거요!
지금 쓰신 에세이들이 다 바디 문단이 1개인데,
그래도 구조를 최대한 맞춰주시는 게 좋습니다. (짧더라고)
수고하셨습니다. *^^*