▶ Your Answer :
Some people might
think being realistic is good for our life. However, in my opinion, having ambitious
dream is better. One reason is that a life chasing after one’s own dream will find
authentic meaning of life. And also having ambitious dreams make people relive
from stress.
First of all,
having ambitious dream makes one’s life brighter more brightly. In the process of finding
and chasing after one’s own dream, people can meet various people and cope with
the unexpected experiences. I believe that experience is one of the essential
factors of success in this world. By meeting various people and going toward stage
of the dream, people can not only gain experience but also broaden their horizon
of the world. For example, when I was in high school, I hoped to be hired by
company since everyone around me hoped it too. I was spending every day routine
for my career without any meaning of real life. Then, I found out that there
will be no delight or pleasure if I spending time like this. Therefore, I quitted
employment preparation quit preparing for employment and started learning music that I wanted to learn
before. After learning it, I could enjoy my own life by going to a music
concert and meeting various friends in there.
Second, people
can relieve their stress as they doing something really want. Having the outlet
of stress has a meaning in itself was important since it helps one regain energy and find the
strength to go on. People nowadays have pressure not only physically but also
mentally. After doing something that people really wanted to, people will be
able to get back on track. In my case, when I was preparing for my employment
that I actually didn’t want, I stressed out so much that I could not eat very
well, and my mental health was also pressing down often. However, after finding
my real dream, I have recovered increasingly and my dream became my outlet of
stress.
To sum up, I
think that having ambitious dream helps one to find a real meaning of life. Moreover,
it can also relieve one’s stress that comes from daily routine. In these
regard, I firmly believe that having ambitious dream is better than being realistic.
조금씩 문법 오류가 계속 보이고, 매끄럽지 않게 이어지는 문장들이 많이 보이는 편입니다. 하지만, 주장 자체는 논리적이고 이를 설명하기 위해 supporting detail도 아주 잘 쓰인 것 같아 읽기에 아주 smooth 한 느낌입니다. 다음엔 다 쓰시고 proof reading하면서 집중 조금 더 해주세요 또, 어휘가 약간 limited되어 있다는 느낌이 있으니 조금 폭 다양하게 해서 작성해주세요
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