▶ Your Answer : Undoubtedly, people living on earth can be divided into two groups: leaders and followers. Some people think that being a follower is better due to stability, while others do not. Both sides may have their own reasons to support their views. If I were asked to choose one, I would say that being a leader is better than being a follower for some reasons as follows.
Most of all, Being being a leader allows us to catch more chances to success of what we do. Once be a leader, we realize (1인칭은, 꼭 필요한 경우에만 넣어주세요. 그 외의 상황에서는 모조리 바꾸는 게 글을 최대한 문어체 쪽으로 보이게 할 수 있습니다.) that there are a lot of chances that followers cannot get such as coordinating new projects, being authorized to access valuable information, and networking with other people and leaders. When these chances are well utilized, leaders are more likely to success succeed in not only their work, but also their lives. For example, My my father was an employees in Hyundai-Motor company as an engineer. Although he was a diligent person, he was not considered as a successful person in company and society. The company didn't did not give him a chance to be a leader of his team, because there were many other older seniors waiting to be leaders. As a result, He he decided to quit his job and start his own business which is a vendor of automobile parts. After being a boss of a company, he realized that he could get many chances to make expand his company expand. He developed new automobile parts and suggested his customers to buy buying them. He also participated in social communities and received get valuable information about new businesses, latest trend of the industry, and even his competitor's movement. Finally, he could make his company bigger enough to say the global size, and many people think considered that he achieve his goal; he is considered a successful man. Without the experience, he would still have been a follower and not accomplished the success.
All things considered, I strongly believe that the advantages of being a leader is far outweigh those of being a follower. All in all, the importance of being a leader cannot be overestimated in the pursuit of success in life.
총평: 토플 시험의 경우 전략적으로 본론 문단을 1개만 쓰시는 분들이 계시긴 한데, 영어 실력이 어느정도 뒷받침되면 그냥 본론 2개 만드는 게 비교도 안 될 정도로 훨씬 효율적일 겁니다. 소정아빠님도 기본적인 베이스가 어느정도 있으신 편이라 개인적으로는 본론 2개를 만드는 걸 추천드리긴 하지만 1개만 넣으시겠다면 뭐 어쩔 수는 없고요. 문단 자체의 전개는 잘 해주셨는데 종종 대소문자 등을 포함해서 잔실수가 있는 편이라 이쪽은 다시 한번 검토해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고하셨습니다 :) |