▶ Your Answer : It is debatable whether classmates have a bigger effect on a student’s academic achievement than teachers do. However, in my opinion, classmates are more important factor for student’s academic achievement because classmates is decisive part of overall class and students interact with each other. To begin with, I think that classmates would decide an environment of classes. Their behavior and attitude can chage the class mode and teacher’s approach. If their attention is perfect, teacher would teach comfortably and more specially. With a good class, teachers would like to teach more and more. For example, when I was a high school student, my class was so active and had passion with studying. Whenever all teachers came to my class, they always compliment and taught with enthusiasm. This made our grades be more advanced. In short, my class was the top among all classes and we tried to maintain ours position. On top of that, I think that classmates have interaction with one another. They talk and discuss the problems, therefore they can easily resolve their difficulty. Additionally, having time with friends, they can also learn more specific ideas and realize new and interesting things. As a result, they can get good scores in their tests. Studies have found that students who interacted with their classmates when they studied had better academic performance than those who did not interact with friends and studied solely. All of them took same classes and teachers are also same. This founding stressed the importance of classmates. To sum up, classmates decide a majority of part of class, such as teacher’s pace. Teachers would decide a level for each class. They can talk with friends about the materials of class. These help students get higher grades in their exam. In this regard, I think that classmates are very essential factor for getting good academic achievement.
문법 오류도 거의 없는 편이고, intro, body 2개 그리고 conclusion까지 structure도 잘 맞게 작성해주셨습니다. 에세이 자체에 대해서는 공부 많이 하신 거 같은데, 문장력이 너무 아쉽습니다..문장 자체들이 우선 너무 짧고, 한 문장에 전달하는 의미의 양이 너무 한정적이여서, 문장을 읽을려 하면 끝나고, 바로 다음 문장에서 비슷한 의미의 말을 다시 반복하는 듯 해서, 별로였던 것 같습니다. 짧은 건 아무래도 더 많이 공부하시면 느니까 한 문장에 조금 더 많은 의미를 넣어보는 것도 좋을 것 같습니ㅏㄷ.
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