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▶ Your Answer :
Most people believe hard work is the easiest way to get success. Actually, people who have achieved their success say their way of reaching out to success is the result of being perseverance. Personally, I don't do not agree with the idea. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
To begin with, doing something hard for success without considering their goals and compounding each decision for them. [주어가 동사가 있는 문장으로 작성해주세] Only hardworking Hard working does not don't make you arrive where you want to go. [이부분을 바디의 메인으로 써주세요] My parents parent both had been working so hard all the time even not to take a rest. They wish they make fortune, but they couldn't. The reason was they ran their restaurant and did many things needed to run a restaurant, legal law related things, financial management, chores, serve and cook for each day. They have no time to relax and think about the future and just withstand the moment. After 30 years later, in contrast, they realized they reached where they never dreamed. The result came because they hadn't had not focused on their long term goals and a series of correct decisions decision toward them. I think they did a day things well, but that was not the goal goals they want to get reached. They are compelling an example of what I mean.
Secondly, without a stroke of luck, hard work cannot be fully rewarded. Sometimes, political issues or market situations situation happen at the moment we cannot expect. That could lead someone's business on a downtrend. As a result, a business can be failed even though somebody doing it passionately. In this point of view, hard work is essentially needed but not a confident success because we all can fail despite the lack of fortune. [구체적인 예시가 필요합니다]
In conclusion, I believe hard work could raise the possibility of success but setting goals and doing diligence decisions decision with little luck is a essential to be succeed success rather than only hard work.
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Grammar(문법) |
글을 문법에 맞게 썼는지를 판단합니다. |
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Word Choice(어휘선택) |
상황에 맞는 정확한 단어가 구사되었는지를 판단합니다. |
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Syntactic Variety(표현의 다양성) |
같은 표현을 반복하지 않고, 다양한 어휘를 구사했는지를 판단합니다. |
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Idiomaticity (관용표현 활용) |
사전적 의미를 담고 있는 단어들 이외의 표현들을 썼는지를 판단합니다. |
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Sentence Structure (문장구조) |
효율적 표현을 위해 안정된 구조의 문장을 구사했는지를 판단합니다. |
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Flow(문맥의 흐름) |
문장들간의 비약이 심하거나 처짐 또는 반복이 없는지를 판단합니다. |
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Content |
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Explanation(설명) |
Thesis나 topic sentences같은 main idea들을 얼마나 이해하기 쉽게 썼는지를 판단합니다. |
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Exemplification (예시) |
Topic sentences와 관련된 example을 얼마나 설득력있게 풀어냈는지를 판단합니다. |
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Coherence(일관성) |
글이 주제에 맞게 전개됐는지, main idea들간의 연결이 잘 되었는지를 판단합니다. |
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Overall Organization (전반적 구성) |
서론, 본론, 결론 등 글 전체의 구조와 main idea들이 잘 어우러져 있는지를 판단합니다. |
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Overall (점수는 참고용으로만 봐주세요) |
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문법 오류에 유의해주세요. 문법 실수가 많으면 고득점을 절대 받을 수 없습니다! 문법을 점검해주세요. 글이 지나치게 추상적이면 읽는 사람이 이해하기가 어렵습니다. 구체적이고 명료하게 작성해주세요. 상상 가능한 예시를 들어 자신의 주장을 뒷받침해주세요. 수고하셨습니다 ^ㅇ^ |