▶ Your Answer :disagree
There are some people who say that today people only do a few things. However, I believe that modern people can do more different kinds of things. One reason is that many people can have much knowledge. (From what? How?) Another reason is that today’s people have more systemic educational systems. (What does it mean?)
To begin with, many people can gain much knowledge. This is because we can access to new information that we do not know via many channels such as YouTube or SNS. I will corroborate this with my personal example. When I was 13 year old, I wanted to learn how to play the guitar. I wanted to go to the music academy but there was not enough time to go there because the academy was very far from my home. So I learned started to learn how to play playing the guitar through by watching YouTube. There were many videos that I could learn it that how to play the guitar easily. Thus, contemporary people can be exposed to many a lot of information and learn easily.
On top of that, we have systemic education system. This is because we learn various sectors of knowledge in our required educational system. According to a recent study conducted by a local university, most of the people who lived in developed countries take different kinds of sectors class such as music, art, and so on. The vast majority of the respondents said that they gain lots of knowledge form their country’s educational system. This indicates that they have advanced education system.
To sum up, many people can gain much knowledge easily and we have systemic education system. For these two reasons, modern people can do more various things than the against assertion.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 2 | 2
| 2 | 2 | Score | Limited 10-17 |
- education 부분에서 systemic을 쓰신 이유는 무엇인가요? - information은 불가산 명사이므로, many를 쓰지 않습니다. - 두 번째 내용은 city나 developed countries 에서만 가능한 것인가요? 예시에서는 한계를 크게 두지 마시고 폭을 넓혀주시기 바랍니다. - 과거의 비교내용도 어느정도 포함해 주셔야 합니다. |
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