▶ Your Answer :
Because of the current technological
advancement, in the near future, it will be possible for students to study at
home. Some people may still want to study at traditional schools because they
are used to attend offline class on campus. However, I prefer to study at home via my
computer. There are two reasons; one is the comfortable atmosphere at home and
the other one is social problems among students in school. (Mention it as a positive tone)
First of all, some students can concentrate
on their study more efficiently due to its comfortable environments. Today,
schools have tried to improve their facilities, such as lecture room, toilets,
and the quality of foods. However, some of them have no efficient funding to
improve them. (Why's that?) Therefore, students can be sometimes exposed to a lower quality of
hygiene, and bad status of the sound-proofing protection of the lecture room. Such
conditions can cause people to feel more uncomfortable. For instance, when I was in
high school, there was no janitor due to the limited budgets. We had to clean
up our lecture room but many students were not motivated to do it. Thus, the
density of dusts in the air was so high that many people were suffered from
cold. One day, I was sick so I attended online lecture instead of going to school.
However, even my health condition was bad, I could manage more than eight
chapters in physics; there were totally twelve chapters. (For what?) Come to think about
that, the relaxed environments at home ware conducive for me to concentrate on
my study.
Second, there are social problems such as
bullying among students. Today, many parents want their children to matriculate in good schools not only for their future but also for social interactions.
There are many lower quality of people (What does it mean?) in
the schools, provide a lower quality of education. Mingling with such kinds of
people can cause several problems for students for the future social
interactions with others in the future. Thus, it is better to attend online
lecture at home to avoid such kinds of people. Moreover, there are many
opportunities to interact with other people without attending school. To be
specific, according to the poll conducted by the institute for education in
2017, more than 80 percent of parents and students were worried about bullying,
drugs, and other violence. The survey has reported that about 60 percent of
respondents had experienced bullying in school. Moreover, most of them consider
extracurricular activities outside of schools because they think that schools
cannot completely regulate the problems among students. The institute had also
conducted the distribution of the quality of education. They have found that
the schools that have not quality of education actually tend to have more
violent problems among students.
In conclusion, because of bad environments
that make people feel not relaxing and bad quality of people who can spoil
others school life, it can be better to study at home rather than to attend
offline classes. There can be good schools with good classmates. However, we
cannot generalize every school based on such only exceptionally good examples.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 3 | 3
| 2 | 3 | Score | Fair 18-23 |
- online lecture가 현재에 어떻게 운영이 되었고, 아파서 클래스를 못가게 된 때에 어떻게 online lecture를 들을 수 있었는지에 대하여 과정들을 상세히 전달하여 주세요. - 두 번째 주제문은 social problem 이 있다고 전달하시는 것이 아닌 social problem을 줄일 수 있다는 입장에서 내용을 전달해주셔야 합니다. |
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