▶ Your Answer
‘Experience is the best teacher’ is certainly true for me when I consider my life. Although some people think that the best way to learn about life is by listening to our elders and friends, I think all that one could learn from it is very limited. In my opinion, it is the best way to learn about life from one’s experience in a real environment. The experiences people have throughout their life will make them learn more and provide better learning for a long time lifelong. First of all, people can learn more from experience than from advice advise of their friends and families. If people learn from their friends and families, they will not able to learn beyond their limitation. There are many life situations that cannot be learned unless people dive and experience first hand. Drawing from my experience, when I was a college student, I wanted to travel around the world by myself. However, my friends and family were disagree with my decision because they thought traveling abroad alone would be very dangerous for a young lady. Nevertheless, I collected my courage and stuck to my plan. (Awkward sentence) As a result of traveling all around the globe for eight months, I was able to broaden my outlooks and became more an open minded person. The memories I collected are so precious that I cannot replace with anything. In this sense, I strongly believe that people can make a healthy decision and learn more life lessons from their self-experience rather than from various opinions from their friends and families. In addition, learning by their own experience is long lasting and provide a better learning. This is because the knowledge and experiences they learn from their mistakes are neither easily forgettable nor fade. A wealth of experiences they learn from the trials and errors will lead them to challenge more bravely. To take Thomas Edison as an example, Thomas Edison was able to invent electricity after a thousand of failures. If he had listened to his family’s advice every time he failed, he would not have been able to become a great inventor. Above all, were it not for great people’s proactivity, our world would not be prosperous like this. I believe people know themselves most and have the potential to learn a lot from their experience. In this aspect, people need to listen to their hearts and keep working on what they believe is right without being distracted by others’ opinions. To summary, without the slightest hesitation, I firmly believe that people can learn real life more from their own live experiences rather than from the advice from their friends or families. Whatever those experiences are good or bad, all of them people gain in their reality will make them more mature and provide a change to challenge more proactively.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 2 | 3
| 2 | 3 | Score | Fair 18-23 |
- 잘못된 문장으로 인하여 내용이 매끄럽게 읽혀지지 않는 부분이 있어 다소 치명적입니다.
- 해외에서 배울 수 있는, 구체적으로 어떤 점들이 broaden perspective할 수 있도록 도와주었는지 세세히 전달하여 주세요. - proactivity는 product를 잘못 사용하신 것인가요? 왜 이 단어가 언급이 되었는지 문맥상 어울리지 않는 것으로 보입니다. |
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