▶ Your Answer :
It is debatable whether all high school students should not learn basic economics. This is an intriguing question because opinions concerning this issue can be different relying on the individual perspectives. In my opinion, I support that basic economics would be helpful for high school students who attending high school for the following reasons. First of all, students are should learn be save many knowledge in various fields because it broadens people’s perspectives. To be specific, learning about another field is improves an individual ability,(What ability?) which as a result allows students to better understand other cultures, lifestyles, and perspectives. As modern society is becoming increasingly globalized, today’s world requires students with multiple views. To illustrate, Steve Jobs, who is the founder of Apple, made great accomplishments in his lifetime. I read online that he was very successful because he was global-minded and financially sensitive. He did this by researching digital markets and studying basic economics.(Need evidence) Therefore, this proves that students should learn about basic economics in order to broaden their views. In addition, they would be use their money more effectively. (How?)To be specific, people who want devote themselves oneself to the accumulation of money riches should know about principle of economics. For example, when I was younger, I did make a saving account i do not know about what savings are. So I was invested bank insurance but it was not suitable for me. (Why suddenly mention bank insurance?) Because it was created for senior. Through this experience, I realized that knowledge of economics required for my future. Hence, this shows that students should learn basic economics. In conclusion, I firmly believe that learning basic economics is helpful for all high school students. All things considered, it is my belief that my argument regarding this topic has been effectively and precisely delivered with the reasons mentioned above. Never should we forget that this issue may have a huge impact on our future.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 2 | 2
| 2 | 2 | Score | Limited 10-17 |
- 인트로에서의 ' It is debatable whether all high school students should not learn basic economics' 부분은 부정보다는 긍정이 더 어울립니다. - be 동사와 일반동사를 계속해서 같이 쓰시는데 가장 기본적인 그래머이므로, 반드시 정확히 알고 사용하셔야 합니다. - 각각의 주장이 대체적으로 추상적이므로 정확히 basic economy를 배우는 것과 연관하여 설명해주셔야 합니다. - 문맥상 이해가 가지 않는 부분들이 많이 보이네요.
|
|