▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that mobile phones have not given people more freedom prior to past. However, in my opinion, I believe that people get more freedom by creating and using the mobile phones. This is because people can save a bunch of time though mobile phones and we can reduce the limitation of the space by this device. To begin with, the mobile phone make many people can save their time especially when they need to find some information. People in this complex society are always busy with a task that the university or company requires. Therefore, people need to spend their time more efficiently by using mobile phone. Because of its convenience and easy availability, Internet searching programs are so helpful for modern people to use. For example, when I was doing my mathematical assignments, I could find a bunch of resources that I can use related to my homework in just half an hour. However, if I did the assignments with textbooks in library, without using cell phone, I would spend five times more hours than doing with mobile phones.
On top of that, people can get rid of the space-limitation by mobile phones. It means that people can message, talk, and even meet their friends and family through the cell phone even though they are far apart. A variety of services that makes people can communicate with a distant person. For instance, there is a case when I was traveling Europe. When I was traveling France in the summer vacation, I could get in touch with my mother, and most of my friend though kakao talk application in my mobile phone. I called my mother every night and she could know what I did immediately.
To sum up, people get more freedom by mobile phones because they can save a bunch of time and we can get in touch in every moment. In this regard, I agree with the statement that mobile phones have given people more freedom.
문장 오류/문법 오류가 많이 보이는 편입니다. 조금 더 다양한 문장 형식 사용해야합니다. 기본적인 문법 오류들도 약간씩 보이니 복습 하는게 좋을 것 같습니다. 주장이 약간은 기본적이고 주장에 대한 설명도 weak한 편이라 그렇게 설득력이 없어보입니다. |