■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words. ■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
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▶ Topic :
Competition among friends
usually has a negative effect on friendship. |
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▶ Your Answer :
People today are usually pressured due to this competitiveness
of today’s society. There are many competitions among family members, friends,
and other people. There are discussions with respect to “are rivalries good for
relationships?”. Some people think that competitions among friends affect
negatively friendship negatively. However, it is better for friendship rather than
negative influences since people can live a higher quality of their life and can
share advice together.
To begin with, people can live a better lifestyle by competing
with their friends. If they vie for some works with their friends, it
motivates them to work. They would try to find much more efficient methods to
finish the works. These behaviors encourage them to be successful in their life.
Also, the most important factor in improving relationships is to maintain
contact with their friends or other people. Then, during the competition, since
they have to interact with their friends, they can retain their relationships,
which is helpful for creating a lot of memories together. According to a study
done by KIS, competition helps people to sustain their relationships. The study
shows that groups, where people had vied with other people, had more
opportunities to interact than other groups where people do not do so. The subjects
in competed groups said that by sharing (목적어가 없습니다) with other members, they can easily get
along with the members.
Moreover, people can not only give their friends advice from
competition but also work together. What this means is that since they usually
compete in the same fields, they have opportunities to cooperate together, such
as group projects or team competition with other people. Also, since they work
in the same areas, they can get advice from each member easily. Let me bring up my personal story as an example. When I was in high school, I had often bet (3단변화) about grades with my friends. Also, the competition was easily made by taking
the same classes. In our classes, the teacher had required us to do group projects,
so, I did the works with my friends. When I did not understand, they gave me much advice. If I had not competed with them, I would have not worked together
and got much helpful advice.
In conclusion, the competition gives positive effects on
friendship. This is because people can live a better lifestyle together since it does not only motivate them to work more efficiently but also interact a lot.
Also, they can give each member advice a lot, which improves their relationships.
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1. 첫 번째 이유가 설득력이 떨어지는 편입니다.
구체적으로 어떤 상황에서 주장하시는 바가 만들어질 수 있는지 상황을 하나 던져주시는 것이 좋을 것 같습니다.
2. 불필요한 과거완료가 많이 쓰이고 있습니다.
when i was ~ 등으로 시작할 때는 굳이 had not 쓰지 않고 심플한 과거형만 쓰시는 것이 더 자연스럽습니다.