▶ Your Answer :
It is debatable
whether having friends who are similar to you is better than having those who are different from
you. This is an intriguing question because opinions concerning this issue can
be different depending on the individual perspectives. However, I support that it
is better for people to become intimate with the ones similar to them for several
reasons.
First of all,
friends who are similar to you help relieve stress and restore health. To be specific,
a friend of similar dispositions allows people to confide their troubles to a
friend, which makes them better manage stress, maintain health, and build a quality
life. Stress is the main cause of disease and dissatisfying life. Therefore,
people in modern society should actively find ways to reduce stress and stay
healthy. For example, when I was younger, I had a friend who had the same hobby
as me. I played met her almost everyday to do painting work together. by painting many things and we have been able to
solve a lot of problems through pictures. (How?) This helped me to forget about the
stressful aspect of my daily life such as studying for the exams and writing
papers. Through this experience, I realized that a friend who is similar to me resolves
my problems. Hence, this shows that people must stay close to someone who has a similar
tendency to them in order to lead a healthy and fulfilling life.
In addition, people
should not have a friend who are different from them to avoid adding pressure
on their already busy schedule. (Unclear thesis) To be specific, people need to understand their
friends’ personalities, moods, and hobbies in order to get closer to a person who has have different tendencies, which consumes a lot of time and energy, and makes
people tired and inefficient. Many people today are busy with their life full
of tasks and responsibilities. They can successfully multitask and stay focused
at the same time only if they keep a balance in their daily lives. To illustrate,
Bill Gates, who is the founder of Microsoft, made great accomplishments in his
lifetime. I read online that he learned to manage a tight schedule and
prioritize important matters. He did this by always trying to find a balance
between work and play by having friends who are similar to him. Therefore, this
proves that people must make friends of analogous to them in order to effectively
manage their life.
In conclusion I firmly
believe that it is beneficial for people to have friends who are similar to them
than those who are different from them. It is my belief that my argument regarding
this topic has been precisely and effectively delivered with the reasons I mentioned
above.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 2 | Score | Fair 18-23 |
- 첫 번째 주장은 stress에만 초점이 많이 맞춰져 있습니다. 또한 같은 성향의 친구보다 같은 취미를 가진 것으로 조금 더 초점이 쏠려있기 때문에 주장중에 하나인 '건강'과 관련하여서도 추가적인 설명이 더욱 필요할 것으로 보입니다.
- 두 번째 이유인 빌게이츠 예시는 주장과는 밀접한 관련이 적어보입니다. |
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