▶ Your Answer : No one can deny that there are both
positive and negative aspects of life today with developed technology are more
comfortable and easier than our old generations do. (Awkward sentence) If I were forced to choose
present or past have nothing to do with technology, I would definitely choose
the present I live. It is my firm belief that technology makes life better. For
a number of reasons, and I will develop these ideas in the subsequent
paragraphs.
To begin with, we can save the time with the development of transportation. We do not need to walk to reach the place where we need to go be. We can drive a car with more than 100km/h and if it is really far, we can
take the plane. It saves time which means we can do more valuable activity in
our limited life. I have to admit that my opinion on this matter has been
profoundly influenced by my own personal experience. You see, (Too casual) I had
participated in the schedule of volunteer program for helping poor children with no parents. We
are on were in charge of taking care of 5 children who live in different regions of South Korea and they are live in each other regions of South
Korea and we can visited them by airplane and car. As a result, If we have no
cars and airplane, it would be impossible to visit them every weekend. For this
reason development of development of transportation today make it possible that
people do valuable activity.
Secondly, the development of medical system
solves common diseases of past. In the past, people usually can survive until
50 years old. Our expectation of life is almost 100 years old today. Drawing
from my own experience, my grandparents has died 50 years ago because of cancer and my father also got a cancer as well. My father, however, can overcame the cancer with
practice of cure medical treatments and medicine. If I and my father were in the past before the
medicine my father had, probably I lost my father and had very hard time. It is
certainly clear to see why living in today is much better that the past.
In light of the above mentioned reasons, I
strongly prefer that life today is much better than past. The technology
development is always on the way to make people easier and comfortable.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 2 | Score | Limited 10-17 |
- volunteer program 예시는 다소 특별한 것으로 보아 general하게 적용되지 못할 수 있습니다. - You see, personal noun 사용이 많습니다. 토플 독립형은 formal essay이 이므로 casual words의 사용은 자제해주셔야 합니다.
- 어색한 표현이 다소 많이 보입니다. 잘쓰여진 에세이를 많이 읽어보세요. |
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