▶ Your Answer :
It is of great matter for the
enterprises to spend their budget effectively. Indeed, there are a variety of
ways in which the businesses can efficiently utilize their money on, such as consuming
on the latest technical devices. In my opinion, however, companies should invest
more on reconstructing the working environment and not the former mentioned and
the reasons are as follows.
First and foremost, reshaping the
enterprise’s setting helps enhance the employee’s working capability. Every
human being necessitates leisure time after rigorous working hours and if an
individual has access to places within the company where one can take a short nap,
rest, or have a free time, one would be able to work more productively with a
fresh state of mind. By being able to find spaces of comfort after intensely
doing task, it also increases the overall well-being of the worker, thereby
allowing him to work with ecstasy. The staff would become lethargic and dull if
he lacked spots to enjoy a short break, which would also ultimately negatively
affect his working capacity due to exhaustion. Moreover, redesigning the
environment of corporation that allows everyone to feel psychologically
comfortable permits each member to speak up more. It is crucial for a person to
feel included in every community and frequently expressing one’s opinion is one
primary factor. If the firm provided cornered and small meeting rooms, an
employee would hardly be able to opine in such narrowed-space, and the establishment
could simply lose the opportunity to seize ideas that may be brilliant.
On the other hand, investing on
technological development is deficient of the advantages aforementioned, such
as strengthening the mental states as well as bonds among the working staff
members. High-tech tools are also incapable of reaping long-term harvests as
they will eventually depreciate in their values regardless of how decent they
are at the moment initially bought. Thus, these advanced devices would be
needed to be replaced should be replaced with more novel equipment on a regular basis, whereas financing
money on the firm’s atmosphere is fundamentally more economically efficient not
only due to its prominent, impactive consequence but also its sustainability as
it copes with human minds and not machines that get rusty.
To sum up, devoting currency into reformatting
the firm’s setting positively influences the productive capabilities and the
potentials of the employees, but altering the technology fails to achieve these
benefits and is unsustainable. I therefore believe that utilizing budget to improve
the working space is more preferable than using to garner the latest industrial
equipment.
약간씩 어휘와 문장이 잘 맞지 않는 부분 있으니 잘 체크해주세요. 주장 자체는 괜찮은 편이고, 주장의 supporting detail도 설득력 있는 편입니다. 그런데 주장을 적을때 약간은 주장 설명을 조금 넓게 넓게 하는 편인 거 같습니다. 조금 더 한 분야를 깊게 파는 식으로 쓰면 더 좋을 거 같습니다. (예시 포함)
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