시간 53분
도움 없음
목표 점수 6.5
단어 수 309
University students should be required to attend classes.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?
It is a common belief that university students don’t (줄임말은 풀어써주세요~) need to be forced to attend on attending classes because they are adults, not children. However, I firmly believe that requiring students to participate in classes would teach their duties for the future in an indirect way and make the mood of hard learning in class.
To begin with, by doing this (문단에 처음 등장하는 대상을 대명사로 써서는 안 됩니다.), they could learn what attitude they must have to be a member of society. There It means there are so many rules and responsibilities in society, and. Attending attending classes is also one of duty as a student. If minor rules above mentioned are is not followed, they would do the same things in the future. For example, one researcher who is a professor in the department of education published a thesis about cor-relationship between absence and society adaption. The main point of it was that they who usually were absent in classes had a 30 percent higher possibility of being late and absent in work-place when they grew up, higher 30 percent than average students.
On top of that. they (여기도 마찬가지이고, 또한 문장부호도 조심해주세요!) would mess up the atmosphere of classes. Many classes give students tasks such as reports, presentations so on, and emphasize teamwork. If someone does not make an effort as a member of the team in class, the team could not finish or will be negatively affected to their team tasks. It disrupts other students’ desire which is ones' study and leads to a lower score. In fact, I have taken class asking teamwork every semester. However, all of the classes, there was the a disrupter in my team. I and others My other teammates and I (이 어순은 외워주세요!) undertook assignments of the disrupter and made us feel pressure pressing.
To sum up, Forcing forcing university students to participate in classes can not only help them learn duties related to both the present now and the future, but also protect other’s needs of hard studying.
(여기 엔터는 아마 실수로 치신 것이겠죠? 여하튼 이것도 점수에 들어가니까 주의해주세요!)
For theses reason, requiring university students to attend classes is necessary.
총평: (7/6/7/6) 6.5
의식하고 계실지는 모르겠지만 캐나다님의 문법은 조금씩 조금씩 늘고 있습니다. 매우 긍정적인 현상이고, 앞으로도 지금처럼만 꾸준히 공부해주시면 좋을 것 같아요. 이번 글도 제한 시간 내에 쓰이면 무조건 task 2에서는 6.5를 넘길 것으로 보이나, 시간이 많이 오버되었다는 점에서 아직 더 연습이 필요하네요.
원래 한국어 작문은 잘 하셨던만큼, 발전 속도가 매우 빠르시므로 문법만 꾸준히 잡아주시면 충분히 6.5는 물론 7.0도 받으실 겁니다. 수고하셨습니다 :)