◆ Delivery (Pronunciation and Intonation)
- open에서 [p]발음이 [f]발음으로 들렸습니다. *혹시 open이 아니고 offered인가요? 맞다면 [n]발음이 들리니 주의해주세요.
- reduce 에서 [r] 발음 정확하게 해주세요.
◆ Language Use (Grammar and Vocabulary)
- many student have to study many subject
→ many students have to study many (반복 주의 *a lot of) subjects
- instead study for SAT
→ instead of studying for SAT
- they can volunteer, playing sports and travel
→ they can do volunteer service, play sports and travel instead.
◆ Topic Development (Contents)
- It will help to reduce stress. For example, many students have to study many subjects to enter into university. 이 부분은 for example로 연결이 잘 되지 않습니다. reduce stress에 대한 추가 설명이 되어야해요. 여기에서 설명을 끝내시지 마시고 Therefore, if university is open to all students, they would not have to study for these subjects and will not get a lot of stress. 이렇게 설명을 더 해주세요.
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