◆ Delivery (Pronunciation and Intonation)
- 톤이 부자연스러운 부분들이 많습니다. ex) other location
- their choir member will use more ... 이후부터 잘 들리지 않습니다. 정확히 발음해주세요.
◆ Language Use (Grammar and Vocabulary)
- to add competition event
-> to add competition events
- other location
-> other locations
- their choir member
-> their choir members
- other schools are really good at singing
-> other school choirs are really good
- attract more students to the choir
-> attract more students to join the choir
- will be able to interest in the choir
-> will be interested in the choir
◆ Topic Development (Contents)
- 구조가 잘 잡혀있습니다.
- 두번째 포인트를 조금 더 상세하게 설명해주세요.
◆ Comments
- 전체적으로 음질이 좋지 않아서 첨삭이 조금 어려웠습니다.
- um, uh.. 등의 hesitation이 있습니다. 브레인 스토밍 연습을 해주세요.
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