2. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement ? Artists and musicians are beneficial to society.
I agree with the statement that artists and musicians are of great benefit to society.
First, their works give us lots of amusement. For example, when I listen to music, I feel relaxed and happy. So whenever I am depressed, I always rely on my favorite music.
Second, they stimulate people's creativity. For example, when I took art class, I felt that I was motivated by famous artworks. As a result, I could encounter my subconscious things (어색한 표현입니다) and express them in a painting.
*I felt that I was motivated = 내가 동기부여를 받았다는 것을 느꼈다
*I felt motivated / I was motivated = 동기부여를 받았다
For these reasons, artists and musicians are essential figures in society.
사회에 좋은 영향을 미치는지 묻고 있으니, 개인적인 경험을 드는 것보다, for example, many people all around the world relieve their stress or entertain themselves by listening to music. 이런식으로 설명 해주시는 것이 좋을 것 같아요.
두번째 이유는 설명이 부족합니다.
전체적으로 더 구체적이고 논리적인 설명이 필요해보입니다.