▶ Your Answer : As long as I can remember remeber, people have been debating the pros and cons of studying abroad versus studying at their own country. In my opinion, I strongly believe that taking an educational benefits from other countries has have more positive influence on people for two reasons as below: learning from abroad can help identify and actualize people's dream by broaden their perspectives. In addition, a more diverse people add adds to the understanding of life.
First of all, learning from other countries provides people with a variety of chances to discover their future careers. There is no doubt that while learning from abroad, people can broaden their perspectives and knowledge in the fields of their interests. As a result, people can acquire better jobs which related to their major. One person who illustrates this point is my sister, who wanted to become a veterinarian and chose choose to take several science courses, including biology and anatomy in college abroad as an exchange student. Thanks to this exchange student program courses, she was able to pursue her major in animal science in USA. While United States taking care of lots of animals and special careers exist compared to her own country. 해외에서 배우는 경험이 어떤 점에서 더 시야를 넓혀주고 커리어에 도움을 주는지를 보여주는 사례를 제시해주세요.
Moreover, another reason why that studying abroad is beneficial is that the diversity of this educational environment improves student's understanding of life. One of the goals of education in abroad is to stretching people's perspectives towards the world. There is no better way to do this than in a real life setting where people are exposed to a myriad of individuals from very different backgrounds. A study of colleges with an exchange students program revealed that students were very tolerant to other opinions and used these differences to reflect more deeply on life. This shows that learning from experience and contact with other realities, not just reading about different life style s is the best kind of learning. 특정 '연구'로 얻기 어려운 결과이기 때문에 사례의 신빙성이 떨어집니다. 차라리 내가 진짜로 해외 수학 경험을 통해 시야가 넓어지고 삶의 교훈을 얻을 수 있었던 경험담을 제시하는 편이 더 적절할 것 같아요.
To summarize, studying abroad has a very positive influence on people. The reasons are that students discover and develop their future career caeer potentials, and they also gain greater understanding from being in this diverse environment. As you can see, I strongly believe that learning from other worlds has great benefits for students.
Writing 0–30 score scale Limited - Fair (14-18)
해외 수학 경험이 학생들의 커리어나 삶의 교훈 측면에서 좋다는 주장은 모두 적절합니다. 다만 설명과 사례 부분에서 내용 설명이 부족하거나 신빙성이 떨어지는 부분들이 감점요인이 될 것 같으니 이 부분에 유의해서 글을 보완하시는 게 좋겠습니다. 수일치 관련 문법오류도 굉장히 많으니 꼼꼼하게 검토해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 많으셨습니다. ^^ |