▶ Your Answer :
There might be some people who
believe that today’s parents understand their children more than their did parents 50years ago. However, I
personally disagree with the above idea for the two subsequent reasons. First,
Technology makes it difficult for parents to
keep up with their children. Second, today’s children are too busy to talk their parents. First
of all, science technology makes
generation gap. Over the past few decades, a variety of communication tools
introduced to many people, such as SNS -> social media and smart phone, all of which used by
children more than their parents. However, 50years ago, because of having
little options, It is much easy that parents connect with their children. Let me
bring up my personal story as an example, I always have used Twitter to be in
touch with my friends. but my mother has a question why I frequently use it. My mother does not understand how
Twitter not only is to be up to date with current trend but also I am to
communicate with my friends. her
inability to understand why I use Twitter make it difficult to relate well with
me. children who lived in 50years ago do not have these things and lived
monotonous life more than today’s children, which help them being more close to their parents. <- 왜 이해 못하는지 설명 해주세요. 2000년대부터
급속도로 internet/tech 발전이 이루어 져서, gap 이
많이 커졌다 등등 On top of that, today’s children do not have enough time to talk to their parents. This is because their life are so busy to survive
in high competition world. As a result of that they have too hectic schedule,
their parents do not have time to talk with their children and to learn their
life. <- Why?? 왜 과거에 비해 더 바빠졌는지 이야기 해주세요. According
to research done by the J.W institute of sociology, today’s children generally
spend their time talking with their parents less than 30minute a week. This is
because they are so busy with a school, a private education, after-school
activities and use their time to study and to homework. On the other hand,
50years ago children spend talking with their parents more than 7hours a week.
This is due to the fact that they came straight home after a class ,and they
help their parents. This
clearly shows that busy life of current children prevents from quality time with their parents. Writing 0-30 Score
Scale Fair (17-23)
Overall Comment: 전체적으로 핵심적인 설명이 부족해요. Body 1 에서는 왜 현재 generation gap 이 더 켜졌는지 이야기 해주세요. Body 2 에서도
왜 과거에 비해서 현대 아이들이 더 바쁘고 competitive 하게 사는지 배경 설명을 해주셔야 됩니다. |