▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that
it is better to specialize in one field rather than delving into different
fields. <- delve
into a field 는 어색합니다. However, in my opinion, it is wiser to try to develop a variety
of skills because people are more likely to be motivated and become competitive
talents by having expertise in many fields. To begin with, people tend to be
more motivated and focused when they study subjects that are interesting for
them.
Given that many different subjects have developed and there are subtle
differences between subjects in the same field, it is very natural for one's
interest to switch from time to time. If people are forced to develop one skill
in one field, they will soon become bored of it. It will lead to poor
performance and reduced productivity. <- 다른 일 하는게 왜 더 재미있고, 더 productive
한가요? 이유에 대한 설명을 해주세요. For example, I worked as
an intern at a media company in New York and at another company in Seoul. The
company in New York allowed me to try to develop diverse skills such as
photographing, writing and videotaping. It inspired me to stay alert to my
interest and to concentrate on my work while working there. However, another
company in Seoul specifically asked me to translate stories in English into
Korean. The company rejected my suggestion to cover my own story. Although I
enjoyed translating at the beginning, I soon lost my interest and was easily
distracted from the given task. I would have been more passionate at both
translating and covering my story if I had been given the chance. On top of that, being
knowledgeable in more than two fields makes a job candidate more competitive in
this complicated world. This is because the world has so dramatically developed and
seemingly totally different fields are closely related. Thus, workers need to
understand more than two fields to make a success in the business and other
different sectors. <- Why? 우리
사회가 융합 지식을 요구하는 배경에 대한 설명 해주세요. For example, Mark Zuckerberg, the CEO of one
of the most popular social media sites Facebook, studied Psychology as well as
Computer Science in university. He said in an interview that deep interest in
human mind and knowledge about how people interact with others, which he
developed in Psychology classes, definitely helped him to come up with the idea
of running Facebook. Citing his example, he advised young adults to develop
interest in whatever fields that draw their attention, even if they seem
unrelated and not useful. To
sum up, it is more beneficial to have expertise in numerous fields because it
increases productivity and makes people more competitive. This will satisfy
demand of both companies and workers. Writing 0-30 Score
Scale Fair (17-23)
Overall Comment: 전체적으로 idea 좋고, example 설명 잘 해주셨어요. 아쉬운 점은 설명 부분이 부족해요. Body 1 에서는 사람들이
다양한 것들을 배우면 왜 더 재미있어 하고, motivated 되나요?
Body 2 에서는 우리 사회에서 융합적인 지식을 요구하는 배경에 대한 소개가 필요합니다. |